Saturday, June 26, 2004


I took the tube home the other day from the airport. There weren't a lot of people on board, so I chose to sit by myself next to a window.

The ride was fine, until this guy got on. He wasn't scruffy at all. In fact, at a glance he was rather well-dressed in a suit, neat-looking, in his 50's or 60's. I saw him look my way from the corner of my eye, but I ignored him as he walked past me and sat behind me. But a couple of minutes later, this guy got up and sat next to me.

I didn't bother with him, although I did think it suspicious. I mean there were several other seats, most of them empty and he sat next to me??? I stared out the window on my left, enjoying the scenery when I noticed movement on my right. SHIT. I didn't want to directly look but I could tell his left hand was moving repeatedly.

Instead I looked at the reflection of the window to see and confirm what I thought he was doing. I was right...and he wouldn't stop. In my head, all I kept wishing was for him to stop, but he wouldn't. He kept on brushing his groin.

I felt sick, wanted to throw up. I felt violated. I excused myself and moved away and sat at another seat. And started to cry...

What I should have done of course was to make a scene, go to the police, but I just couldn't even bring myself to look at this guy's face. I just felt too sick.

You're probably thinking I was wearing something that showed some skin, that tempted him. No. On the contrary, I was in baggy sweatpants, t-shirt and a baggy sweatshirt!

And, this isn't the first incident! I have had at least two others, both made my stomach all knotted up, both made me want to throw-up, both made me cry. Plus, I have related my story to my friends and it seems as if every girl I know has had at least one such occurrence.

One girlfriend of mine had just got home from college and was at the door of her apartment building. She was fumbling around, looking for her keys when she noticed someone was behind her. She figured it was another apartment resident, so she turned to look. This guy had unzipped his pants and was jerking off just behind her! God knows what would have happened, if she had opened the door to her apartment building.

This brings me to the subject that should NOT be taken lightly. So if you've got some smart, funny comments, save it for another blog entry, please.

Rapes, sexual molestation, incest, etc...

I was watching Oprah the other night about this amazing woman, Angela Shelton. She decided to make a documentary on as many Angela Sheltons as she could find in the US to find out what story they had to tell. She found it shocking that in the process, half of the 32 women she talked to, had been raped, beated, sexually abused, herself included. Angela Shelton confronted her own father who had molested both her brother and herself. What was sick was that her father would not admit it, would not even apologise for what he had done, he just kept denying it.

It was heartbreaking to see her deal with her father's denial. She cited the used of crayons, how he sexually abused her. He was a sick, sick man.

I just did a search for statistics on sexual assaults in the US. 683,000 forcible rapes occur every year, which equals 56,916 per month, 1,871 per day, 78 per hour, and 1.3 per minute. I don't know what the statistics are in Malaysia but I am sure no statistic is too small to be ignored.

There have been several movies, documentaries that touch on this subject. Some I can't even bring myself to watch because they are too graphic and it's just inconceivable that in reality humans can really be so cruel to one another.

If you've seen "Capturing the Friedmans," "The Celebration," "Irreversible," "Boys Don't Cry," or "The Magdalene Sisters" you'd know what I mean.

Men, women, children, transgenders, Asians, blacks, whites, mothers, fathers, brothers, uncles, sisters, grandfathers, altar boys, priests, husbands, wives, teachers, students, etc...

ANYONE can be a victim.

ANYONE can be an abuser.

We won't hear everyone's story because not everyone will be as courageous as Angela Shelton to confront her abuser or seek help. But try to be supportive should someone find that courage to share his/her story with you.

In our society too, it seems as if it's something we just don't talk about in our families for fear of being disowned, no one will believe, bringing shame to the family,'s taboo. In some other cultures, the victim especially if it's a woman is regarded as the one who deserves the punishment, while the male abuser/rapist has done no wrong. It's sick.

In AWAM's (All Women's Action Society) research on rape in Malaysia, only 10 per cent of the reported cases end in a successful conviction of the rapist, its administration and finance manager Wong Peck Lin noted. "Four out of five reported cases do not make it to court," she explained, saying that the failure to convict could be due to lack of witnesses and/or inadequate forensic evidence.

I wish something could be done to rid this world of perverts, child porn, rapists, sexual abusers, molesters, flashers and every other disgusting "it" that does not deserve to be called a human being.

Innocent lives have been changed, many ruined, some killed. My heart goes out to all those lives affected.

Be wary of your surroundings and of those around you. Sometimes home isn't even the safest place. Be wary, it can be a sick world out there.:(

Friday, June 25, 2004

3 Down...

Thanks for sending in your e-mails but there can only be three "winners" and here they are, the lucky owners of a brand new spanking Gmail account:

1) Kew Ang aka Q
2) Boey aka eishin (how about giving me Barons in exchange for the invite??? :P)
3) Yuen Li

Invitations have been sent so check your inboxes (for Yahoo Mail users, please check your Junkmail folder if you don't find it in your Inbox). Congratulations, enjoy and put those Gmail accounts to good use! :)

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Get 'em While They're Hot!

Hello everyone! This is an update on the whole Gmail invite situation. Reading back some of our old blog entries, I came across Tira's post about Random Acts of Kindness and decided to do just that by giving away 3 Gmail invites. This giveaway only applies to those who do not have a gmail account yet! I have no way of knowing if you're being honest or not so let it be on your own conscience if you choose to deprive some poor Gmail-less chap of an account.

Now all you have to do is e-mail me at with the subject title "Give Me Gmail, You Bitch!" (I'm bored, so humour me) together with your first and last name, your nickname if you have any, and the e-mail address you want me to send the invite to. It's that simple!

Note: Any e-mails I receive without said subject title will not be entertained. Please double check your e-mail address before submitting it to me as I shall not be held responsible for any spelling mistakes done on your part. If you are one of the lucky chosen three, you should receive the invite in your inbox by Friday 5p.m. MAL time (sorry for the delay but I'm a busy girl). The names will also be published on this blog so check in from time to time. If you do not hear from me, chances are you were too late... but fret not my friends! I just might have more Gmail invites up my sleeve for next time so stay tuned for any updates! ;)

UPDATE: Thanks for the e-mails guys but this giveaway is officially over! Stay tuned to find out if you were one of the first three!

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Of Free Games & Gmail...

If you've been a regular reader of this blog (and hopefully there are some of you out there :P), you would have gotten a glimpse into my personality so you'd know by now that I'm a cheapskate by nature. My theory is, why buy the expensive original product when you can get it for a cheaper price or better yet, for free? Hence my undying support of pirated DVDs and free movie and music downloads off the Internet.

Anyway, right after posting my last entry 2 Sundays ago, I felt bored and decided to try out some games on RealArcade. The deal with RealArcade is, they allow you to download the program for free but all the games come with a 60-minute demo period, after which you have to buy the game to continue playing. Now 60 minutes might seem like enough time to try the game out, get bored then delete it but what if you're like me and can't get enough of games like Super TextTwist or Bounce Out Blitz and would love to play them for hours on end?

There is only one logical solution... No, not buy the games (this is me we're talking about here) but go on a Google hunt for patches! The wonderful thing about the Internet is that for every one program on sale online, there are about ten patches or unlocking methods floating around the net just waiting for you to get your hands on them. If you're patient enough, you might find exactly what you're looking for and then you'd be enjoying free programs or games in no time. Just like lil' ol' cheap me :)

I'd be glad to help anyone out by the way... just e-mail me at with the subject "RealArcade games" and I'd be glad to tell you how to unlock the full version on Windows XP (not sure if it works the same for other versions of Windows). Mind you, these aren't your typical Doom/ Quake/ Counterstrike computer games but rather word games, puzzles, arcade games, card games, strategy/ SIM games that work great to help you pass the time when you're bored or downloading music and movies :) Some games I highly recommend - Super TextTwist, Ballistik, Inspector Parker, Feeding Frenzy, Mummy Maze Deluxe, Tamale Loco and Return of the Incredible Machine Contraptions.

Well, RealArcade is half the reason why I haven't been blogging for the past 2 weeks with the other being sheer laziness (hehe!) so a thousand apologies to those of you who have been checking in regularly.

On another note, Google seems to be handing out lots of Gmail invites lately. I myself have a few extras so now I'm wondering what to do with them. GmailSwap? Free giveaway?

Suggestions anyone?

Sunday, June 06, 2004

The Third Wheel

I'm pretty contented with my life. I'm surrounded by wonderful family and friends, my life is heading in the right direction, there's enough food on the table and enough money to spend... so what more could I ask for right? Well sometimes, just sometimes, I wished I had a boyfriend. No, I'm not some desperate young woman who sits around pining for a man any chance she gets. In fact, I don't usually feel like this... not unless I've just seen a pukingly sweet romantic movie or I've spent the night being the third wheel aka the Lamp-Post with a sickeningly lovey-dovey couple, which coincidentally I did on Friday night.

It was supposed to be a night of fun with a group of friends but somehow I landed myself with just Him & Her (who are close friends of another friend) at a mamak restaurant in SS15. The rest of my pals had gone off to play Counterstrike or Far Cry (or whatever the latest PC game may be) and it was the only time I wished I played too. So there I was, trying my very best to act blissfully ignorant by looking around, drinking my bladder away to the point of bursting and making polite chatter without ruining the "mushy" moment for them. It was like a scene right out from a Bollywood movie where the male and female characters chase each other around trees and roll around hills and slopes only in this production, both male and female were doing their share of teasing and flirting over a plate of nasi lemak. Each mouthful was accompanied by a seductive look and a flirty smile but the absolute worst came when they "fought" over the egg in the nasi lemak.

Him: You take it...
Her: No, you take it...
Him: But there's only one piece of egg and I want you to have it...
Her: But I know you like eggs so you have it...

After a good minute or so on the merry-go-round of love, I came thisclose to tearing my ears off and yelling "I'll have the damn egg!".

I thought things could only get better when we shifted venues to a pub in Bangsar so I made sure I sat as far away from H & H as I could. But alas! As the evening progressed and people changed places to talk, I found myself once again sitting next to them! Phew, no nasi lemak here but wait, is that a long island iced tea they're sharing?! So once again they rode on the merry-go-round of love while I drank long island tea after long island tea (all by myself, no less) to drown out all the mushy talk. With my bladder working overtime, my only thoughts were, "This is worse than being single on Valentine's Day", "Somebody kill me now!" and "I'm going to stab myself in the heart with this straw". Yes, it was that bad. But all is forgivable, especially after finding out that H & H have only been dating for 3 months. Give them a year or two, then we'll see how lovey-dovey they still are. Haha.

But nevertheless, an evening as the Lamp-Post has given me the extra insight as to what is "missing" in my life. I am a *ahem* young woman in the 21st century and sometimes I think having a boyfriend these days is more of an option rather than a necessity (sorry guys, but it's true!) but it still would be nice to have someone I can cuddle up with while watching a movie and pigging out with beer/ wine and chips (believe it or not, this is what my dream date would be like... no fancy schmancy stuff for me, thanks).

So I'm on a quest to find myself a boyfriend (no, this is not an advertisement) but I'm going to take all the time I need to look for someone who suits all my needs. I've always settled for less in the past and look where it got me... a place all by myself next to Him & Her from coupledom hell. It won't be easy I know, to look for Mr. Perfect... but then again, I'm not looking for Mr. Perfect. I'm looking for Mr. Perfect-For-Me and I just know he's out there somewhere. But rest assured that when I do find him, I will not subject him (or myself) to major embarassment by playing Pass-the-Egg. Not in public anyway. ;)

Thursday, June 03, 2004

Help Me, I'm a Foreign & Indie Film Addict!

Don't you just love watching movies? For me personally, there's no better way to spend the weekend than pigging out on my sofa with some Pringles and Diet Coke while watching a really good movie on DVD or cable (yes, it's pretty rare but Astro is capable of showing some pretty good films sometimes). What many of you don't know is, I usually steer clear of Hollywood blockbusters and prefer to spend my time watching indie or foreign flicks. I am absolutely addicted to them actually. Of course when I say 'steer clear', I don't mean I avoid them blockbusters like the plague... I do watch and enjoy them from time to time but offer me a choice of 28 Days Later or Freddy vs. Jason, and I'll take 28 Days Later anytime. Okay, Freddy vs. Jason is a lousy choice because the movie was shit, but you get the drift.

Now don't get me wrong... I don't think that every film that touches Hollywood's mainstream shores is crap or unworthy of your two hours (just like not all foreign films or indie flicks are brilliant)... I mean, there are thousands of superb films that come out of the United States or major movie studios but a lot of them, I feel, are willing to sacrifice originality, art and creativity all for entertainment's sake. It's "important" after all, for the movie studio bigwigs to earn back their precious millions which they invested in the movie so they can continue to churn out many more blockbusters for you and me and artsy films are hardly the way to go.

When I was much younger, I thought the film industry revolved around America, Hong Kong and India. Never did it occur to me that Italy, Germany, Iran or France could be just as capable of making great films as the three biggest movie-producing countries in the world. I was first exposed to the world of foreign films in my film appreciation class and I fell in love with the very first one I saw, Akira Kurosawa's Yojimbo. Suddenly all these American films I'd been watching didn't seem so great anymore! My fascination for foreign flicks soon grew with more of Kurosawa's flicks, Lola Rennt, The Road Home, The Bicycle Thief, Nikita & many more. I also realized that a big budget film didn't necessarily mean better and pretty soon my interest in huge blockbusters waned.

Call me cheap, call me resourceful but I now get my movies from the Internet. I rarely go to the cinemas unless it's a great film with wonderful reviews or it's something I'm really interested in seeing (eg. LoTR trilogy). P2P programs have a pretty wide selection of both mainstream and indie movies and a fair share of foreign films so I've been able to satisfy my movie needs so far. But this past weekend found me with absolutely nothing to watch!! My connections to Overnet and Kazaa Lite were exceptionally slow so downloading was impossible... and that brings me to my next 2 questions - what other P2P programs can I use to download movies and where on earth (with the exception of Petaling Street and Sungei Wang - too far!) can I buy foreign films in KL or PJ?! I know lots, if not all of you, buy or download your movies so any help would be good. I'm getting desperate here... help me with my addiction!

Well, since we're still on the subject of films, I thought I'd list some of my favourites foreign/ indie movies and actors here so you could check them out if you're interested. I have nothing better to do anyway since I've run out of movies to watch! :(

Foreign Films I Recommend:
|   Akira Kurosawa Films   |   L'auberge Espagnole   |   Battle Royale   |   Dogville   |   Hable con Ella   |   Y Tu Mama Tambien   |   Amores Perros   |   Everybody Famous!   |   Infernal Affairs I, II & III   |   Lola Rennt   |   Hero   |   The Triplets of Belleville   |   Eat Drink Man Woman   |   City of God   |   Amelie   |   Goodbye Lenin!   |   The Barbarian Invasions   |   Osama   |   Life is Beautiful   |   El Crimen del Padre Amaro   |   Spirited Away   |   Son of the Bride   |   Three Colors Trilogy   |   Hana-bi   |   Sonatine   |   Whale Rider   |   No Man's Land   |   The Cuckoo   |

Indie Films I Recommend:
|   Kevin Smith Movies   |   Quentin Tarantino Movies (Pulp Fiction is the best!)   |   The Secretary   |   My Big Fat Greek Wedding   |   Waking Life   |   Memento   |   The Usual Suspects   |   Punch Drunk Love   |   Requiem for a Dream   |   Fargo   |   Donnie Darko   |   Lost in Translation   |   28 Days Later   |   The Virgin Suicides   |   Monster   |   Pi   |   The Station Agent   |   Thirteen   |   Dancer in the Dark   |   Intermission   |   Ghost World   |   The Magdalene Sisters   |   Boys Don't Cry   |   Igby Goes Down   |   Bend it Like Beckham   |   What's Eating Gilbert Grape?   |   21 Grams   |   American Splendor   |   Pieces of April   |   Being John Malkovich   |   Trainspotting   |   Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels   |   American History X   |

Favourite Foreign/ Indie Actors
|   Gael Garcia Bernal   |   Diego Luna   |   Patricia Clarkson   |   Steve Buscemi   |   William H. Macy   |   Sam Rockwell   |   Parker Posey   |   Jake Gyllenhaal   |   Maggie Gyllenhaal   |   John Malkovich   |   Edward Norton   |   Uma Thurman   |   Takeshi Kitano   |   Maggie Cheung   |   Eugene Levy   |   Giovanni Ribisi   |   Cate Blanchett   |   Audrey Tautou   |