My Two Sen

Back to School

2004-12-06T03:15:00.000+08:00

Well.. aloha again everyone! It's been a while since I've posted and it feels good to be back.

Thought you guys might like an update as to what's been going on in my life (too bad if you don't). So let's see... I recently went back to college for my degree studies, I've left home for the first time and moved into a little apartment, made new friends, met up with old ones and oh, my skin looks like that of an 80 year old due to the sleepless nights doing my assignments. Not bad for 6 months, if I may say so myself.

Anyway, 8 months ago, when I made the decision to move out, I had mixed emotions about it. Yeah, it's pretty pathetic being a 20+ year old who's never left home but it's hard to leave when your mother's a single parent home alone and your brother's out working most of the time. But move out I did, and it's proven to be an interesting experience.

First of all, the biggest challenge was learning how to balance my monthly finances. This is especially hard if everything you've bought (prior to moving out) was paid for by your parents. So I learnt to stretch a dollar into two and miraculously did not die of starvation. Thank God for mamak stalls and Maggi Mee!

Other than that, the task of making new friends proved to be an unnerving experience as well. I'm sure all of us can remember our first day of classes when we had to step into that classroom all by ourselves, hoping that someone would reach out to make friends. When I was in college the first time around however, making friends seemed so much easier. No one really cared how you looked, how much money you had, what you wore, who your father was, which clubs you went to etc... but sadly, all that's changed now. It was weird, hilarious even, when I was met with shocked faces when I told some of my classmates I hated clubbing because I didn't like the crowds and dressing up. It was as if I had committed the ultimate sin, one that was punishable by deadly stares and sarcastic remarks. Needless to say, those classmates and I did not become close friends. I did, however, find a lot of other people with mutual interests and we've become pretty good friends now.

But anyway, I've survived my first semester of college and it's now the holidays for me. The only thing I can say is : It's about bloody time!

On behalf of my sister, I would like to thank all of you for your kind thoughts and words during her toughest hours. She's doing much better now so THANK YOU :)

An Emotional Wreck

2004-10-15T01:46:00.000+08:00

I think I will take a leave of absence from blogging. I will be back when I am better. :(

I am an emotional wreck right now. Just found out the bf of five years has cheated on me with a one night stand. There's a constant knot in my tummy. My heart has been stomped on, shredded into unrecognisable particles. I keep staring at the mirror wondering what is wrong with me, I seem to fail in all my relationships.

I want to know if I am not pretty enough, not tall enough, not thin enough, not smart enough, not nice enough, not this, not that. WHAT? WHAT??? I know I should lift my head up high and walk away but it's a lot easier said than done. I had sworn I would not let a guy hurt me like that again, and now it's happened again. I have cried till my eyes have gone puffy, can't work because all I can think of is the dreaded "why?" I wake up in the morning thinking, hoping that it was all a nightmare but it's not.

I can't trust anyone anymore. We were heading in the direction of marriage so you can imagine the blow is like 50 ton weight of bricks on me...no wait, 100 tons. My purpose in life is gone, my faith in men diminished to less than a speck. I feel like I am ruined mentally and emotionally. I am getting older but don't seem to be getting any wiser. :( I fear being single for the rest of my life because something is truly wrong with me, and of course I can't trust men.

The bf had earned my trust knowing that I had been hurt badly before. I did not want to exist before, but he earned my trust and I was happy. But one night of too much alcohol ruined and fucked everything up. We were great before and I trusted him without a doubt. No questions asked when he went out with his friends because I knew and trusted him. He was the sweetest and everyone liked him! But that trust has been violated, I have been raped of all hope, trust that he had restored in me. The pain is a lot worst because I didn't expect anything at all. Non-existence is what I want to be now, I dream about it every day now.

If I trusted him for five years and this happened. Where is the assurance that the next guy won't hurt me again? There isn't. I crave non-existence.

I don't know who to trust, who's telling the truth, who's real, who's fake.

He says he's sorry...before, I could believe it but I can't believe anything now. I am afraid it might happen again. I don't know. I don't know any fucking thing now. Weird thing is, I feel sorry for him, I think he really wants me back. He says he's truly messed everything up. But I don't know if that trust can ever be the same again. I am confused, hurt, disappointed, angry, sad, an emotional wreck.

My world has crumbled. I want to jump off a building. I want to cross the street without looking. Fuck everything I have ever known, trusted or believed in. I want to curl up into a ball and truly, truly die.

Got a Teacher Who Inspired You?

2004-09-19T10:54:00.000+08:00

It just so happens that I've seen, "Mona Lisa Smile," "Dangerous Minds," "To Sir With Love" and "Dead Poets Society" all in the same week. It must be teacher's week or something cos well, if you've seen all three movies, you'd have noticed there's a theme going on here. Teachers.

I'm sure many of us want to make a difference in this world, I know I do. I just don't want to exist on this planet for the main purpose of eating and sleeping or god forbid, shopping, clubbing and trying to blend it with the cool, hip crowd.

You might read that, roll your eyeballs and automatically think, "Tira's a nerd." Nope, if you've read my previous blogs, I don't plan on existing for the pure pleasure of wanting to be in the "in" crowd. But I'm sure there are those of you out there who beg to differ and who only party, get drunk, try to be cool....trust me, there's more to life out there than spending on such shits as those. ( I do party but not to the extremes that some do! Think shorts, flip flops, baggy t-shirt at the bar with a keg of beer, etc...not exactly dressy eh?)

Sara would agree with me on this when I say our mother has brought us up right in making sure we're friends with the disabled kid, the uncool crowd, helping the less fortunate, the snooty person, the smart person, etc...well, basically, just being nice and friends to EVERYONE regardless.

But that's another blog entry.... more or less.....

So this entry is about a teacher or several of them who have made a difference in your life. It could be that they made such an impact that it added zest to your life, or that they were so negative, it made you want to prove them wrong and show them you can surpass the goals they've set for you.

Personally, I can't think of one teacher who has impressed me enough to do that. No one has spurred me on.

Instead, I think there are teachers in school and there are teachers outside school, college, whatever. I was spurred on by the latter.

I've been taught by my mom to do the best that I could. I've been taught and reminded by several that I must accept people for WHO they are, not WHAT they are.

I've been taught in unfortunate life circumstances that money is really nothing, they might be friend magnets, but really, who the fuck needs friends like that anyway. I really prefer no money, real friends.

I've been taught that your relatives aren't always what they seem. Or for that matter, that friend you thought you could rely on...when you really need help, would you get it?

So who are your best teachers? Mine are my mom and experience....

What do you do for fun?

2004-09-19T10:46:00.000+08:00

Are you a bookworm? a movie buff? an alcoholic, clubber, flirt, eater, outdoorsy person, shopper, etc....

WHAT DO YOU DO FOR FUN?

Favorite Restaurant/Food/Recipe?

2004-08-14T11:11:00.000+08:00

I initially thought of starting this entry about the Olympics, after all it does start today. But then I got thinking that everyone's probably got the same idea, which means many, many, many blogs about the games in Athens. So I thought I'd take a stab at being different and write about my favorite restaurant/food/recipe.

Ok, ok, for those who know me, you'd also know that I love a variety of foods, restaurants and recipes as my previous blog entries will attest.

Here's a list of my fav foods and where you can get them (in no order of preference)!!!
Asam Laksa:

*maggi mee,

*megamall jusco,

*mom's cooking!

*Red Ginger restaurant

*Penang (??) restaurant - forgot the name of the restaurant in megamall (sara, do u know??)

Sarawak Laksa:

*bangsar coffee shop (forgot name but it's a couple of blocks from Giant, formerly known as TMC)

Otak-otak:

*Red Ginger

*Bangsar Pasar Malam

Tiramisu

*Pasta Pomodorro

*Alexis Bistro

Margaritas

*American Chillis, Bangsar

What are your favorite foods/restaurants/recipes?? Share them with us, so we can try them too!:P

The Piercing Ordeal Pt. 2

2004-08-09T02:47:00.000+08:00

Continued from The Piercing Ordeal

Day Four - Sunday 1/08/04
I woke up today wanting to go back to bed, desperately. Had a really late night last night (a big no-no according to my piercer) but 5 minutes more was all I needed. My alarm clock did not allow me to get them.

Having to wake up at 7.45am every Sunday for church really bites (the waking up NOT the going to church - I am a good girl, I am) but waking up 15 minutes earlier today just so I can brush my teeth and tongue at a slower pace? Surely I wouldn't need 15 minutes extra for that? Well apparently I did, because I didn't have a second to spare before leaving.

Had a really pleasant lunch today because I discovered something yummy I could eat - mashed potatoes with loads of milk and butter and Campbell's cream of chicken! Had them for lunch and I have to say, cold potatoes and soup never tasted so damn good (strictly no hot food for fear of injuring my tongue). Decided to have the same thing for dinner again. I mean, more cold mashed potatoes or more liver tasting porridge? 'Nuff said.

I'll probably have the same thing for every meal until my tongue has healed. Who can get sick of mashed potatoes right?

Day Five - Monday 2/08/04
Monday's here and that only means one thing - shopping at Midvalley with my mother. I spent 4 tortured hours at Midvalley smelling all things delicious and eating nothing. Bakeries are the absolute worst with smells of hot pastries and buns coming out fresh from the oven filling the air. McDonald's comes in a close second especially since my Double Cheeseburger craving has not subsided. I return home to eat cold mashed potatoes and chicken soup. Funny, it doesn't taste as good as it did yesterday.

One of my lecturers called while I was out so I had to call her back to find out what she wanted. Just my luck, her name is Zeti. Our conversation is as follows (and this is no exaggeration, folks):

Me: Hello. Can you put me tru to Jheti, pleash?
Operator: Erm, sorry?
Me: Can you put me tru to Jheti?
Operator: Oh, you mean Zeti from the _______ department?
Me: Yesh.
Operator: One moment please.
Zeti: Hello, Zeti speaking.
Me: Hi Jheti, you called me earlier?
Zeti: Who is this?
Me: Thish ish Sara?
Zeti: Eh, apasal suara lain hari ini? (Why does your voice sound different today?)
Me: Oh, shakit tekak. (Sore throat)
Zeti: Oh kesiannya... anyway, your application for __________ has been approved so you have to come on the 4th to reenrol for your course.
Me: The fourt? Dish Wedneshday?
Zeti: Erm yeah, the fourthhhh...
Me: What time musht I be der?
Zeti: Anytime between 9-5 but I would advise you to be here at 9 to avoid the crowd.
Me: Oh ok. What musht I bring?
Zeti: 3 passport sized photos, a photocopy of your IC and money for your fees if you want to pay on that day.
Me: But you haven't told me how mush my feesh ish?
Zeti: Oh, let me check. (Rustling of papers) Your fees for this semester is ________
Me: Oh ok. Let me write it down. Ish dat all? Anyting else I shud know or bring?
Zeti: Mmm no, I don't think so.
Me: Ok den... tank you. Shee you dish Wedneshday.
Zeti: Erm... ok. Bye.

Bet she never had a weirder telephone conversation.

I had strawberry ice cream (melted, of course) and potatoes again for dinner. Did I say I was going to eat potatoes for every meal until my tongue was healed? Ok, maybe not.

Day Six - Tuesday 3/08/04
My tongue felt surprisingly normal this morning so I assumed it was 100% healed. Tried bending it to see if it was still swollen. The searing pain I felt might be a clue... definitely still too early for tongue twisting.

I never thought I'd say this but I am now officially off ice cream and mashed potatoes. I can actually feel them both oozing out of my pores... and I swear that when I raised my arm earlier, I got a whiff of mashed potatoes... my pits smelling exactly like my dinner is definitely not a good sign.

Had my first can of Diet Coke in five days though and it was heavenly. Decide to have just Diet Coke for dinner since I am addicted to the stuff. Was on to my 4th can before I gave up. My tongue had all but turned black because of the colouring so that couldn't have been very good for me.

My tongue became increasingly itchy after "dinner" and I practically had to restrain myself from scratching it with my fingernails. The next best thing to do is sleep it off so looks like it's bedtime for me.

Day Seven - Wednesday 4/08/04
I woke up feeling like I lost ten pounds so I hurried over to the scales... only to find that I'd put on 4 pounds??!!!!! How was that possible? All I've had for days now is milky/ buttery mashed potatoes, cream of chicken soups and loads of ice cream... oh.

I spent most of the afternoon at college reenrolling and prayed that none of my lecturers would notice my weight gain. Lucky for me, none did.

Anyway my tongue has returned to its normal size so I had a really good dinner just now. I guess my face must have looked really miserable in the afternoon so my mother suggested cooking soupy noodles for me. Trust me, at this point, I could have eaten cardboard in soup and it would have tasted like manna from heaven but hot soupy noodles with REAL MEAT was just I needed and DAMN, WAS IT GOOD!

So did I regret piercing my tongue especially after all the sacrifices I've had to make in the past week? Not even for a second. In fact, I would do it again in a heartbeat and encourage anyone who wants their tongue (or other body parts) pierced, to go ahead with it if they're really sure. Hey, you only live once and if you can't do the things you really want to do, then what's the point in living? Trust me, piercing your tongue is definitely a life experience you'll carry with you to your old age.

Now if you'll excuse me, it's time to get rid of those pesky pounds!

The Piercing Ordeal

2004-08-06T01:58:00.000+08:00

Precisely a week ago, I got my tongue pierced. Some of you might be going "Eww!" but understand that this was something that I had wanted to get done for years. The plain & simple truth is, I love body piercings and am absolutely addicted to them. When I told my mother a few years back that I was going to get my tongue pierced, my mother freaked out. Not the I-say-no sort of freaking out but rather the I-say-no-and-if-you-go-ahead-anyway-I'm-not going-to-talk-to-you sort. Naturally I had to forget about it if I wanted to live in peace.

I brought it up again recently and shockingly, my mother said I could go ahead with it on one condition: that I spare her the gory details of how they do it (hehe!). Now to be honest, I could have gone ahead with it ages ago (come on, I'm in my 20s!) but I decided to discuss it with her out of respect. Trust me, no piercing is worth it if your mum can't bear to look at you at the end of the day.

So anyway, I raced off to Sungei Wang with my friend once I got the green light and here I am, pierced tongue and all a week later :) Anyway, here is a brief day to day description of what I went through during the last week (also if you're thinking of doing it, you'll have a rough idea what to expect).

Hey, when you can't eat, talk or swallow properly, what else is there to do besides think up your next blog entry and write?

A Grainy Picture of My Tongue Piercing

Day One - Thursday 29/7/04 @ 11.30PM
Pierced my tongue 5 hours ago. Was a bundle of nerves as I entered the shop but the piercer immediately made me feel at ease by being friendly and informative. He gave me a form to fill up, told me to sit on a high stool and explained the procedure. I gargled my mouth with Listerine for a few seconds and then I was ready. I tried to calm myself as much as possible and succeeded for a few seconds... until the piercer warned me that I could seriously injure my tongue and lips if I pulled back my tongue while he poked the needle through. My nervousness multiplied tenfold. I stayed as still as I could while he placed a clamp on my tongue and told me that the pressure applied by the tool usually hurt more than the needle itself. Braced myself for the worst... felt nothing. Then he picked up the needle and effortlessly slid it through my tongue. I could feel the needle going through but it was absolutely painless! The piercer slid in the barbell, screwed in the bottom ball and I was done. Tongue feels weird and uncomfortable. Looked in the mirror to find my tongue bleeding slightly. Felt a little bit faint because I hate blood. Recovered instantly when I saw how perfect his workmanship was. Gargled somemore with Listerine, listened to his aftercare instructions and list of Dos and Don'ts and made my way home... in silence (a first for me).

Reached home and showed piercing to mother. Was expecting mum to be Ok with it since she did say I could go ahead with it. Expected wrongly. Was greeted with "Oh My God!!!" over and over again. My guess is, I'll be hearing it more often than I'd like to.

Made a HUGE mistake of not eating before piercing. Was starving at around 9.30pm so I stuffed myself with the one thing that's easiest to swallow: iced water. Still had to train myself to swallow differently with the barbell. Dribbled more than I drank. Felt surprisingly full but only for about, oh 5 minutes. Am dead beat & still hungry so going to bed now. Have not slept this early since 1997 for exams. Must be the result of nerves working overtime. Decide to have one last look in the mirror... I heard that it would be swollen and sore but mine feels normal so am extremely pleased. Aftercare will be a breeze.

Day Two - Friday 30/07/04
Woke up in the afternoon (told you I was tired) with tongue the size of my fist. All I could think was, whoooboy, what have I gotten myself into? Tongue has thickened but luckily, there is no soreness or pain. My speech has worsened though... have omitted the letters s and z from my vocabulary.

My mother is a doll... she made a huge pot of soup for my lunch and bought 2 tubs of ice cream for me knowing I wouldn't be able to eat solids. Had three bowls of soup plus plenty of iced water so was filled to the brim. Watched a Home Improvement rerun and hey, was hungry again. Decided to treat myself to a big bowl of Neopolitan ice cream. Got greedy and scooped a big spoonful into my mouth. Note to self: big spoonful of unmelted ice cream can rub against the piercing resulting in severe pain. Had an unsatisfying (warm) Neopolitan shake instead.

Dinner consisted of more soup (surprise, surprise) and iced water. Have sudden craving for McDonald's Double Cheeseburger... heck, would even be willing to eat the paper that wraps the burger.

Day Three - Saturday 31/07/04
Ah, the weekend's finally here but I'll be staying home to rest my tongue. The piercer told me that it's ok to smoke and drink but I've decided to abstain this weekend, just to be safe. My tongue is still as swollen as ever and talking is still difficult. I'm not sure if I'm imagining it but my tongue feels extremely itchy! I've learnt that the best remedy is iced water so I've had to drink even more than the previous two days (that's all I need, more iced water!)

My mother cooked chicken porridge for me but I couldn't eat it because the grains were too rough and big. So my mother blended it up for me into a kind of soup and I had that for lunch. Now you might think that chicken porridge and blended chicken porridge would taste exactly the same, right? Wrong... dead wrong. I have no idea how blending it altered the taste but my chicken porridge tasted exactly like mushed up liver. I never want to have blended chicken porridge again... ever.

Spoke too soon. Just found out my mum made more for my dinner. Oh boy.

To be continued: Day Four - Seven...

One of My Heroes Dies :(

2004-08-03T00:07:00.000+08:00

Pennsylvania girl who started a lemonade stand for cancer research dies at age 8
MARYCLAIRE DALE, Associated Press Writer
Monday, August 2, 2004

(08-02) 08:05 PDT PHILADELPHIA (AP) --
A young cancer patient who started a lemonade stand to raise money for cancer research, sparking a nationwide fund-raising campaign that has raised hundreds of thousands of dollars, has died. She was 8.

Alexandra Scott, of Wynnewood, died peacefully Sunday at home on her favorite couch, her father, Jay Scott, said Monday.

"She opened her eyes for the first time that day just before she passed away. She looked out at the trees," Scott said. "In the past she's been in a lot of pain, but at the end she had no pain, which is what she worried about."

Alex, diagnosed just before her first birthday with neuroblastoma, an aggressive form of childhood cancer, decided to set up a lemonade stand to raise money for treatment. She took in $2,000 that first year, and a series of stands had raised a total of $200,000 after four years.
In June, lemonade stand fund-raisers were set up in all 50 states, as well as in Canada and France, and Alexandra and her family appeared on Oprah Winfrey's TV program and the "Today" show.

Alex hoped that her Alex's Lemonade Stand charity would raise $1 million this year for cancer research. The effort has reached about $750,000, and Volvo of North America had pledged to hold a fall fund-raising event to assure that the $1 million goal would be reached, Jay Scott said.
Since June, Alex's quality of life had dropped off, and her health had severely deteriorated in the last few days. Still, she remained determined to push forward, family members said.

The Scotts plan to set up a memorial fund in their daughter's honor at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia, where Alex was treated most of her life. She had asked this past month that something be established in her name.

"She had never asked about that before, so I think she knew something was going on," Jay Scott said. The family recently gave the hospital $200,000 from this year's lemonade proceeds.
Kay Sweet, a retired principal who home-schooled Alex over the past three years, when she was too sick to go to school, will most remember her student's determination and fierce independence.

Sweet noted the sacrifices the Scotts have made as they juggled Alex's care, their family life and the fund-raising efforts. Jay Scott works full-time, and their family includes three other children.

"They're just wonderful people, and have given so much of themselves to all of the causes that have been really important to Alex," Sweet said.

On the Net:
Alex's Lemonade Stand: www.alexslemonade.com

Sara and Tira Says...

2004-07-29T05:08:00.000+08:00

It's been about five months or so since we first started MY Two Sen and we've come a long way! However, we don't know a lot about the bloggers who visit us (yes, that's you), and you about us!

So we've decided to do a little Q&A, throw out the conventional "What is your favorite color?" questions and hey, presto! The following is what we have come up with.

Feel free to tell us your answers to our questions! And remember, be honest!
Sara & Tira.

1) I'm embarassed to admit that I listen to:
Sara says: Avril Lavigne (but only certain songs!)
Tira says: Usher

2) If I were gay (or am gay), I wanna be with (borrowed from mtv):
Sara says: Maggie Gyllenhaal, Marg Helgenberger or Nicole Kidman
Tira says: Angelina Jolie

3) My most unusual crush is on:
Sara says: William H Macy
Tira says: Snoop Dogg and as sick as it sounds, I think Bill Clinton is a hottie. hahaha.

4) My favorite drink is… and you can find the best one...
Sara says: Coca-Cola Light...at my house with loads and loads of ice!
Tira says: Long Island…haven't found best one yet!

5) Five foods I want to be stranded on an island with:
Sara says: my mum's chicken rice (my mum would be so proud), mashed potatoes, steamed fish, assam laksa flavoured maggi mee and McDonald's Double Cheeseburger!
Tira says: Assam Laksa, Sarawak Laksa, dukus, mom's roast chicken, salty licorice

6) I am dressed in…. during the
a) day
Sara says: t-shirt, shorts and flip-flops sans make-up
Tira says: jeans, t-shirt, tracks, anything super casual, sneakers/flat shoes

b) night
Sara says: pants or skirt, top, heels and make-up (trust me, this is a big deal)
Tira says: black, nothing too tight, something decent, flat shoes, hahaha. I have serious accidents with anything with heels,my sis knows this!:P

7) My most disgusting habit is:
Sara says: I'm always playing with my nose ring. I also constantly interchange my nose and ear rings, without washing them (HAHA! - but don't worry, I wash my hands ;-) )
Tira says: bursting zits

8) If I could do something without worrying about the consequences, I would:
Sara says: eat EVERYTHING fattening & unhealthy, break into a bank,kill the spouses/ girlfriends of Chris Cornell from Audioslave, Doug Robb from Hoobastank, Brandon Boyd from Incubus, Chris Carrabba from Dashboard Confessional, Chris Martin from Coldplay, Dave Grohl from the Foo Fighters and marry them (yes, ALL of them)
Tira says: kill my enemies

9) When no one is looking/ around, I:
Sara says: pull out my wedgie, sing and dance and yes, play with my nose ring (not necessarily in that order)
Tira says: undo my wedgie, steal office supplies

10) The one thing I don't understand about the opposite sex is:
Sara says: their love for porn
Tira says: why they don't open up more, you tell them something and they'll promise to be more romantic, etc..., they do that for a couple of weeks (or days) and then they forget!

Additions & Changes

2004-07-25T03:39:00.000+08:00

Aloha all!

Just a quick update from me... there are some small changes/ additions to our blog such as the expandable blog links and archive sections, a new footer, and our new rating system. (Please insert your oohs & aahs here hehehe :P)

The number of blogs we like to read seem to multiply by the days so we decided to make things a little tidier by making the section expandable. Go on, have a try... you know you want to!

We've also added our own rating system for the music and movies we listen to and watch. As you may have noticed, we don't really write reviews on our blog because the two of us watch A LOT of movies and listen to TONS of music, so we can't be writing reviews for everything. Okay, okay, we're lazy bums too :-D Anyway, we thought the next best thing would be to rate everything so you would have an idea as to what was good and what wasn't (at least according to us). I would also like to take this opportunity to thank R., our dear friend for drawing the durians for us. He really took the time out of his busy schedule to do this for us and for that, we are grateful! Thank you R.!

So have a look around and tell us what you think!

Til my next update (which hopefully will be soon :P),
xoxo Sara

Wanted: The Perfect Job

2004-07-15T09:32:00.000+08:00

When I was still a little kid, I would often hear the question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Back then, I had always answered, "A doctor!" I dreamt of saving the world, finding the cure for cancer, helping everyone who needed help. Really, I never really waivered from this dream right up to my college years.

Dad dying of cancer reinforced this dream. Applying to universities, I wrote about why I wanted to pursue this career. I cited my reasons. I wanted to save the world (though not in those same exact words), and I wanted to be a caring doctor. Yep, not one of those who forgot the very reason as to why they got into the profession in the first place. I mean, have you ever been sick and the doctor wasn't exactly the most sympathetic person in the world to you? I didn't want to be that doctor, I was going to be the one who listened to your woes, and be at your beck and call.

Then after I sat for my pre-university exams, I realised maybe this wasn't really what I wanted to do. Perhaps I chose this career path because I wanted to make my parents proud, after all I did come from a family of high expectations. I had often heard of my parents oohing and ahhing over their friend's daughter's or son's grades or how many hours they studied, etc...Perhaps I wanted to have them ooh and ahh over my grades. Perhaps I wanted their friends to ooh and ahh over their doctor daughter?

I wanted to please my parents and make them be proud of me, especially coming from parents who are professionals. This threw me in a tumble!

I still wanted to help people but I didn't really know if the medical field was really my destiny or what would make me happy. And the very thought of diagnosing a patient with the wrong illness, frankly, scared me.

So I went soul searching and I decided what I really wanted to do was chemical engineering. I loved chemistry and I knew it paid well. So that's what I did and woohooo, got accepted into uni to do just that. But wait, that's not the end of the story. :)

After a semester of organic chemistry, homesickness and not really knowing if I wanted to do chem e, I dropped out. My other options were pharmacy or speech therapy, yes, all along the lines of helping people. But those didn't work out either!

So here I am about eight to 10 years later, still soul searching...I work for a nonprofit, which of course means that I don't get a lot of money. But hey, I am still on track with the "helping people" dream. :P

It's funny how one starts out wanting to do something and ends up in a totally different career. I am sure there are some who stick to their guns and see it through, but that wasn't me!

I have been forwarded jokes in the past where it says, "If you think your job is bad, think again," and it's got these people in white coats smelling armpits as a job. Then just recently, I read about how this guy became a self-made millionaire. He had dropped out of college, took on a course to be a mortician. But then he watched "Pulp Fiction" and was inspired to pursue in a career where he cleans up the guts and gore of crime scenes, suicides, etc...As you can imagine, it's not a very competitive job, so now he's made and is making his big bucks.

Anyway, I am still trying to find happiness and trying to find that perfect job. I want to be happy when I get up and have to go to work. I want to make enough money to be able to afford the things I want. I want to be able to travel and see the world. I want to be challenged and never lose interest. I want to be have fun. I want to enjoy working with the people around me. I want to help people.

I am okie in my job right now, but it may be time to move on. But before I do, I am still looking for that job, that perfect job.

"A Little Hero Inside All of Us"

2004-07-06T02:12:00.000+08:00

If you've already seen it, you'd know that I have too, and gone ahead and borrowed a line from "Spiderman 2." Oprah had also featured real-life superheroes on her show, which inspires the topic of today's entry. Oh, by the way, I recommend the movie! There were some things I didn't agree with but otherwise I think it's a great watch (check back with us to find out our new rating system!)

What really makes a hero? I agree with Aunt May that there's a little hero in all of us. Heroes in real-life don't have to wear masks, capes, or have the ability to fly, weave webs or have a sidekick. They could be that very ordinary person next to you.

Some go out and do great big things that everyone else knows about, but there are those quiet heroes that don't really get recognised for what they do. Then there are of course those who become heroes "accidentally" like in the movie "Hero." (the american movie, not the chinese one, which by the way was great too!)

My definition of a hero is anyone who is a positive role model for me and everyone else around the world. Anyone who "saves the world" by doing good, without so much as wanting recognition or monetary rewards. Someone who does it just because she/he wants to make the world a better place (as cliched as it sounds). Someone who can be brave and strong, not necessarily in the physical sense, but more so mentally. Someone who overcomes personal tragedies, disabilities, rises above them to teach us all that the human spirit prevails.

Some of my heroes include famous people, some who've passed on, some everyday people, some people I don't even know. Here's who I think are heroes. But keep in mind that these are just some of them.

First of all, I think Mother Teresa was a hero. A champion for the poor, disabled and just about practically everyone who was not of the privileged world. She was humble, gave up her materialistic world, donned a white sari with blue trim, yet, world leaders all considered it an honor to be in her presence. In her eyes, there was no such thing as color, everyone was equal in her eyes.

There are times when I remind myself that I should not be materialistic or bitch about the person walking past me, but it's a lot harder than it seems!

Another hero would be blood donors and organ donors. Donating blood can help save lives...as many as three! All it asks of a person is to go to a blood center every 8 weeks, and to donate blood, which takes about an hour! How hard can that be?

I think it's remarkable too that siblings or friends can donate a kidney to the other! It's giving of yourself and one has to have a great big huge selflessheart to take that step to help save your loved one's life. Without a doubt....heroes!

One day, I was at the theater and there was this guy standing there collecting our tickets. He was and is a hero. Why? He had the courage, the guts to stand there infront of the public. He could have chosen a less public job, but he didn't. This guy's face was badly deformed, yet instead of hiding behind closed doors, he chose to stand there tall and proud! How many of us fret whenever we have the tiniest zit on our faces? We rush out to buy concealer to try and mask it, so we'd look all "perfect" infront of everyone. This guy couldn't. That's what's so amazing!

Everyday we're bombarded by ads of perfect people with perfect faces and bodies. Sometimes we may meet these people and you just know looking at them or them looking at you with their upturned noses, that they think they're better than everyone else. I hate to burst your bubble but there's a lot more to a person than physical beauty. I honestly would rather be friends with the guy at the theater than snooty people like these. I saw him only for a few minutes but in those moments, he taught me about courage and that it's really what is inside all of us that counts.

Then of course there is my mother. We've probably written about her in this blog several times, but hey, if I'm writing about heroes, she definitely belongs to this category!

She's got one of the strongest spirits I have ever known. Every kid will say their mom's the best, and we're no different. She will literally lay her life down for any of her kids if she were put in that situation. Growing up, she did not always have what the kid next door possessed, and her childhood wasn't always the happiest. She made it a point never to let any of her kids go through that.

When our dad got sick, she looked after him day and night, literally. The burden was huge and heavy, but she pulled through and kept her marriage vows, in sickness and in health, she looked after our dad.

Times are better now, but I could not have turned out the way I did if it weren't for my mom. She's always wanting the best for me, for us.

Other heroes of mine include: Nelson Mandela - 1993 Nobel Peace Prize Laureate, Aung Suu Kyi - 1991 Nobel Peace Prize Laureate, Bono, Martin Luther King, Jr., Rosa Parks - a black woman who refused to give her seat up to a white man in 1955, etc... And to add to my ever-growing list of heroes and role models, (borrowing from Oprah) this little girl is a true hero too, Alex Scott.

I am sure I will add more to my list as I go through life. It's the person you think least likely to be your hero, that person who inspires, the person I could meet today, tomorrow or whenever in the future. That is what keeps me going in life!

Sick!

2004-06-26T11:25:00.000+08:00

I took the tube home the other day from the airport. There weren't a lot of people on board, so I chose to sit by myself next to a window.

The ride was fine, until this guy got on. He wasn't scruffy at all. In fact, at a glance he was rather well-dressed in a suit, neat-looking, in his 50's or 60's. I saw him look my way from the corner of my eye, but I ignored him as he walked past me and sat behind me. But a couple of minutes later, this guy got up and sat next to me.

I didn't bother with him, although I did think it suspicious. I mean there were several other seats, most of them empty and he sat next to me??? I stared out the window on my left, enjoying the scenery when I noticed movement on my right. SHIT. I didn't want to directly look but I could tell his left hand was moving repeatedly.

Instead I looked at the reflection of the window to see and confirm what I thought he was doing. I was right...and he wouldn't stop. In my head, all I kept wishing was for him to stop, but he wouldn't. He kept on brushing his groin.

I felt sick, wanted to throw up. I felt violated. I excused myself and moved away and sat at another seat. And started to cry...

What I should have done of course was to make a scene, go to the police, but I just couldn't even bring myself to look at this guy's face. I just felt too sick.

You're probably thinking I was wearing something that showed some skin, that tempted him. No. On the contrary, I was in baggy sweatpants, t-shirt and a baggy sweatshirt!

And, this isn't the first incident! I have had at least two others, both made my stomach all knotted up, both made me want to throw-up, both made me cry. Plus, I have related my story to my friends and it seems as if every girl I know has had at least one such occurrence.

One girlfriend of mine had just got home from college and was at the door of her apartment building. She was fumbling around, looking for her keys when she noticed someone was behind her. She figured it was another apartment resident, so she turned to look. This guy had unzipped his pants and was jerking off just behind her! God knows what would have happened, if she had opened the door to her apartment building.

This brings me to the subject that should NOT be taken lightly. So if you've got some smart, funny comments, save it for another blog entry, please.

Rapes, sexual molestation, incest, etc...

I was watching Oprah the other night about this amazing woman, Angela Shelton. She decided to make a documentary on as many Angela Sheltons as she could find in the US to find out what story they had to tell. She found it shocking that in the process, half of the 32 women she talked to, had been raped, beated, sexually abused, herself included. Angela Shelton confronted her own father who had molested both her brother and herself. What was sick was that her father would not admit it, would not even apologise for what he had done, he just kept denying it.

It was heartbreaking to see her deal with her father's denial. She cited the used of crayons, how he sexually abused her. He was a sick, sick man.

I just did a search for statistics on sexual assaults in the US. 683,000 forcible rapes occur every year, which equals 56,916 per month, 1,871 per day, 78 per hour, and 1.3 per minute. I don't know what the statistics are in Malaysia but I am sure no statistic is too small to be ignored.

There have been several movies, documentaries that touch on this subject. Some I can't even bring myself to watch because they are too graphic and it's just inconceivable that in reality humans can really be so cruel to one another.

If you've seen "Capturing the Friedmans," "The Celebration," "Irreversible," "Boys Don't Cry," or "The Magdalene Sisters" you'd know what I mean.

Men, women, children, transgenders, Asians, blacks, whites, mothers, fathers, brothers, uncles, sisters, grandfathers, altar boys, priests, husbands, wives, teachers, students, etc...

ANYONE can be a victim.

ANYONE can be an abuser.

We won't hear everyone's story because not everyone will be as courageous as Angela Shelton to confront her abuser or seek help. But try to be supportive should someone find that courage to share his/her story with you.

In our society too, it seems as if it's something we just don't talk about in our families for fear of being disowned, no one will believe, bringing shame to the family, etc...it's taboo. In some other cultures, the victim especially if it's a woman is regarded as the one who deserves the punishment, while the male abuser/rapist has done no wrong. It's sick.

In AWAM's (All Women's Action Society) research on rape in Malaysia, only 10 per cent of the reported cases end in a successful conviction of the rapist, its administration and finance manager Wong Peck Lin noted. "Four out of five reported cases do not make it to court," she explained, saying that the failure to convict could be due to lack of witnesses and/or inadequate forensic evidence.

I wish something could be done to rid this world of perverts, child porn, rapists, sexual abusers, molesters, flashers and every other disgusting "it" that does not deserve to be called a human being.

Innocent lives have been changed, many ruined, some killed. My heart goes out to all those lives affected.

Be wary of your surroundings and of those around you. Sometimes home isn't even the safest place. Be wary, it can be a sick world out there.:(

3 Down...

2004-06-25T05:53:00.000+08:00

Thanks for sending in your e-mails but there can only be three "winners" and here they are, the lucky owners of a brand new spanking Gmail account:

1) Kew Ang aka Q
2) Boey aka eishin (how about giving me Barons in exchange for the invite??? :P)
3) Yuen Li

Invitations have been sent so check your inboxes (for Yahoo Mail users, please check your Junkmail folder if you don't find it in your Inbox). Congratulations, enjoy and put those Gmail accounts to good use! :)

Get 'em While They're Hot!

2004-06-23T16:14:00.000+08:00

Hello everyone! This is an update on the whole Gmail invite situation. Reading back some of our old blog entries, I came across Tira's post about Random Acts of Kindness and decided to do just that by giving away 3 Gmail invites. This giveaway only applies to those who do not have a gmail account yet! I have no way of knowing if you're being honest or not so let it be on your own conscience if you choose to deprive some poor Gmail-less chap of an account.

Now all you have to do is e-mail me at saradipity@gmail.com with the subject title "Give Me Gmail, You Bitch!" (I'm bored, so humour me) together with your first and last name, your nickname if you have any, and the e-mail address you want me to send the invite to. It's that simple!

Note: Any e-mails I receive without said subject title will not be entertained. Please double check your e-mail address before submitting it to me as I shall not be held responsible for any spelling mistakes done on your part. If you are one of the lucky chosen three, you should receive the invite in your inbox by Friday 5p.m. MAL time (sorry for the delay but I'm a busy girl). The names will also be published on this blog so check in from time to time. If you do not hear from me, chances are you were too late... but fret not my friends! I just might have more Gmail invites up my sleeve for next time so stay tuned for any updates! ;)

UPDATE: Thanks for the e-mails guys but this giveaway is officially over! Stay tuned to find out if you were one of the first three!

Of Free Games & Gmail...

2004-06-22T19:53:00.000+08:00

If you've been a regular reader of this blog (and hopefully there are some of you out there :P), you would have gotten a glimpse into my personality so you'd know by now that I'm a cheapskate by nature. My theory is, why buy the expensive original product when you can get it for a cheaper price or better yet, for free? Hence my undying support of pirated DVDs and free movie and music downloads off the Internet.

Anyway, right after posting my last entry 2 Sundays ago, I felt bored and decided to try out some games on RealArcade. The deal with RealArcade is, they allow you to download the program for free but all the games come with a 60-minute demo period, after which you have to buy the game to continue playing. Now 60 minutes might seem like enough time to try the game out, get bored then delete it but what if you're like me and can't get enough of games like Super TextTwist or Bounce Out Blitz and would love to play them for hours on end?

There is only one logical solution... No, not buy the games (this is me we're talking about here) but go on a Google hunt for patches! The wonderful thing about the Internet is that for every one program on sale online, there are about ten patches or unlocking methods floating around the net just waiting for you to get your hands on them. If you're patient enough, you might find exactly what you're looking for and then you'd be enjoying free programs or games in no time. Just like lil' ol' cheap me :)

I'd be glad to help anyone out by the way... just e-mail me at saradipity@gmail.com with the subject "RealArcade games" and I'd be glad to tell you how to unlock the full version on Windows XP (not sure if it works the same for other versions of Windows). Mind you, these aren't your typical Doom/ Quake/ Counterstrike computer games but rather word games, puzzles, arcade games, card games, strategy/ SIM games that work great to help you pass the time when you're bored or downloading music and movies :) Some games I highly recommend - Super TextTwist, Ballistik, Inspector Parker, Feeding Frenzy, Mummy Maze Deluxe, Tamale Loco and Return of the Incredible Machine Contraptions.

Well, RealArcade is half the reason why I haven't been blogging for the past 2 weeks with the other being sheer laziness (hehe!) so a thousand apologies to those of you who have been checking in regularly.

On another note, Google seems to be handing out lots of Gmail invites lately. I myself have a few extras so now I'm wondering what to do with them. GmailSwap? Free giveaway?

Suggestions anyone?

The Third Wheel

2004-06-06T19:15:00.000+08:00

I'm pretty contented with my life. I'm surrounded by wonderful family and friends, my life is heading in the right direction, there's enough food on the table and enough money to spend... so what more could I ask for right? Well sometimes, just sometimes, I wished I had a boyfriend. No, I'm not some desperate young woman who sits around pining for a man any chance she gets. In fact, I don't usually feel like this... not unless I've just seen a pukingly sweet romantic movie or I've spent the night being the third wheel aka the Lamp-Post with a sickeningly lovey-dovey couple, which coincidentally I did on Friday night.

It was supposed to be a night of fun with a group of friends but somehow I landed myself with just Him & Her (who are close friends of another friend) at a mamak restaurant in SS15. The rest of my pals had gone off to play Counterstrike or Far Cry (or whatever the latest PC game may be) and it was the only time I wished I played too. So there I was, trying my very best to act blissfully ignorant by looking around, drinking my bladder away to the point of bursting and making polite chatter without ruining the "mushy" moment for them. It was like a scene right out from a Bollywood movie where the male and female characters chase each other around trees and roll around hills and slopes only in this production, both male and female were doing their share of teasing and flirting over a plate of nasi lemak. Each mouthful was accompanied by a seductive look and a flirty smile but the absolute worst came when they "fought" over the egg in the nasi lemak.

Him: You take it...
Her: No, you take it...
Him: But there's only one piece of egg and I want you to have it...
Her: But I know you like eggs so you have it...

After a good minute or so on the merry-go-round of love, I came thisclose to tearing my ears off and yelling "I'll have the damn egg!".

I thought things could only get better when we shifted venues to a pub in Bangsar so I made sure I sat as far away from H & H as I could. But alas! As the evening progressed and people changed places to talk, I found myself once again sitting next to them! Phew, no nasi lemak here but wait, is that a long island iced tea they're sharing?! So once again they rode on the merry-go-round of love while I drank long island tea after long island tea (all by myself, no less) to drown out all the mushy talk. With my bladder working overtime, my only thoughts were, "This is worse than being single on Valentine's Day", "Somebody kill me now!" and "I'm going to stab myself in the heart with this straw". Yes, it was that bad. But all is forgivable, especially after finding out that H & H have only been dating for 3 months. Give them a year or two, then we'll see how lovey-dovey they still are. Haha.

But nevertheless, an evening as the Lamp-Post has given me the extra insight as to what is "missing" in my life. I am a *ahem* young woman in the 21st century and sometimes I think having a boyfriend these days is more of an option rather than a necessity (sorry guys, but it's true!) but it still would be nice to have someone I can cuddle up with while watching a movie and pigging out with beer/ wine and chips (believe it or not, this is what my dream date would be like... no fancy schmancy stuff for me, thanks).

So I'm on a quest to find myself a boyfriend (no, this is not an advertisement) but I'm going to take all the time I need to look for someone who suits all my needs. I've always settled for less in the past and look where it got me... a place all by myself next to Him & Her from coupledom hell. It won't be easy I know, to look for Mr. Perfect... but then again, I'm not looking for Mr. Perfect. I'm looking for Mr. Perfect-For-Me and I just know he's out there somewhere. But rest assured that when I do find him, I will not subject him (or myself) to major embarassment by playing Pass-the-Egg. Not in public anyway. ;)

Help Me, I'm a Foreign & Indie Film Addict!

2004-06-03T01:40:00.000+08:00

Don't you just love watching movies? For me personally, there's no better way to spend the weekend than pigging out on my sofa with some Pringles and Diet Coke while watching a really good movie on DVD or cable (yes, it's pretty rare but Astro is capable of showing some pretty good films sometimes). What many of you don't know is, I usually steer clear of Hollywood blockbusters and prefer to spend my time watching indie or foreign flicks. I am absolutely addicted to them actually. Of course when I say 'steer clear', I don't mean I avoid them blockbusters like the plague... I do watch and enjoy them from time to time but offer me a choice of 28 Days Later or Freddy vs. Jason, and I'll take 28 Days Later anytime. Okay, Freddy vs. Jason is a lousy choice because the movie was shit, but you get the drift.

Now don't get me wrong... I don't think that every film that touches Hollywood's mainstream shores is crap or unworthy of your two hours (just like not all foreign films or indie flicks are brilliant)... I mean, there are thousands of superb films that come out of the United States or major movie studios but a lot of them, I feel, are willing to sacrifice originality, art and creativity all for entertainment's sake. It's "important" after all, for the movie studio bigwigs to earn back their precious millions which they invested in the movie so they can continue to churn out many more blockbusters for you and me and artsy films are hardly the way to go.

When I was much younger, I thought the film industry revolved around America, Hong Kong and India. Never did it occur to me that Italy, Germany, Iran or France could be just as capable of making great films as the three biggest movie-producing countries in the world. I was first exposed to the world of foreign films in my film appreciation class and I fell in love with the very first one I saw, Akira Kurosawa's Yojimbo. Suddenly all these American films I'd been watching didn't seem so great anymore! My fascination for foreign flicks soon grew with more of Kurosawa's flicks, Lola Rennt, The Road Home, The Bicycle Thief, Nikita & many more. I also realized that a big budget film didn't necessarily mean better and pretty soon my interest in huge blockbusters waned.

Call me cheap, call me resourceful but I now get my movies from the Internet. I rarely go to the cinemas unless it's a great film with wonderful reviews or it's something I'm really interested in seeing (eg. LoTR trilogy). P2P programs have a pretty wide selection of both mainstream and indie movies and a fair share of foreign films so I've been able to satisfy my movie needs so far. But this past weekend found me with absolutely nothing to watch!! My connections to Overnet and Kazaa Lite were exceptionally slow so downloading was impossible... and that brings me to my next 2 questions - what other P2P programs can I use to download movies and where on earth (with the exception of Petaling Street and Sungei Wang - too far!) can I buy foreign films in KL or PJ?! I know lots, if not all of you, buy or download your movies so any help would be good. I'm getting desperate here... help me with my addiction!

Well, since we're still on the subject of films, I thought I'd list some of my favourites foreign/ indie movies and actors here so you could check them out if you're interested. I have nothing better to do anyway since I've run out of movies to watch! :(

Foreign Films I Recommend:
| Akira Kurosawa Films | L'auberge Espagnole | Battle Royale | Dogville | Hable con Ella | Y Tu Mama Tambien | Amores Perros | Everybody Famous! | Infernal Affairs I, II & III | Lola Rennt | Hero | The Triplets of Belleville | Eat Drink Man Woman | City of God | Amelie | Goodbye Lenin! | The Barbarian Invasions | Osama | Life is Beautiful | El Crimen del Padre Amaro | Spirited Away | Son of the Bride | Three Colors Trilogy | Hana-bi | Sonatine | Whale Rider | No Man's Land | The Cuckoo |

Indie Films I Recommend:
| Kevin Smith Movies | Quentin Tarantino Movies (Pulp Fiction is the best!) | The Secretary | My Big Fat Greek Wedding | Waking Life | Memento | The Usual Suspects | Punch Drunk Love | Requiem for a Dream | Fargo | Donnie Darko | Lost in Translation | 28 Days Later | The Virgin Suicides | Monster | Pi | The Station Agent | Thirteen | Dancer in the Dark | Intermission | Ghost World | The Magdalene Sisters | Boys Don't Cry | Igby Goes Down | Bend it Like Beckham | What's Eating Gilbert Grape? | 21 Grams | American Splendor | Pieces of April | Being John Malkovich | Trainspotting | Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels | American History X |

Favourite Foreign/ Indie Actors
| Gael Garcia Bernal | Diego Luna | Patricia Clarkson | Steve Buscemi | William H. Macy | Sam Rockwell | Parker Posey | Jake Gyllenhaal | Maggie Gyllenhaal | John Malkovich | Edward Norton | Uma Thurman | Takeshi Kitano | Maggie Cheung | Eugene Levy | Giovanni Ribisi | Cate Blanchett | Audrey Tautou |

White, Black and Red

2004-05-23T09:58:00.000+08:00

I'm already twentysome years old and I still have that dreaded teen problem. Zits. Acne. Pimples. Whiteheads. Carbuncles. Blackheads. Aiyah, whatever you call them, I hate them.

I had them through my teen years and upon hitting 20, I thought it would be a problem of the past. Alas (always wanted to use that word)! They've followed me into adulthood as well. Sure sucks I tell you. I'm still having this problem. I am sure some of you can relate.

What have you tried to "battle" les eruptions?

Let me tell you mine...

I've tried the cucumber mask. Yup. I used to peel, slice, and puree lots of cucumbers, then slop it on my red, acne infested face. Not sure if it really worked though.:(

I've also tried a certain "marvel gel." Hehehe, I remember making my mom call the skin specialist after listening to a radio show advertising it. Not sure it really worked either but I tried. By the way, you know it's bad when your mom buys you a book simple entitled, "Pimples." Remember this, Sara?

Steaming my face over a bowl of hot water? Been there, done that.

Clearasil, oxy...yup, yup. No product endorsement here intended but I figure everyone's used one of these at least once, unless you're blessed with smooth, pimpleless skin. If you are, you're banished from this blog!:)

All that glycolic, alpha-hydroxy gunk.

Done the toothpaste zit zapper remedy, oatmeal mask, a certain "sage and comfrey" conconction, etc...Actually, I think I have tried everything under the sun. Oh wait, that's supposed to be bad too.:)

Also used tea tree oil, apricot scrubs, fragrance free soaps, cleansers, not to mention the $$$ ones, etc...Experimented with that thing you stick on your dalmation spotted nose, let it sit, and then rip off in the hope that those damn blackheads are gone.

It is said that chocolates are not bad for your skin, but I never took/take any chances. When the going gets tough and the enemies of the face start popping up, I try (keyword here is try) not to eat chocs. Eat more tofu, carrots, veggies, instead.:P Oh yeah, even bought those "Skin, Nails, Hair" vitamins too.

Anything I have read in some Cosmo-YM-Self sort of magazine I have also done. Some are absurd but hey, when you're desperate and think everyone's staring at that one huge pustule on your face or a conglomerate of them, you'd try ANYTHING!!!

I still haven't found the "cure." In fact, I think as one gets older (hehehe, notice the use of "one" and not "I"), scars are slower to heal, so really, when they say don't burst them zits, DON'T! Ok, ok, I admit I don't practise what I preach. But I am sure you understand. That unstoppable urge to squeeeeeeeze...die you damn zit, die!!!!!!

But really, zits don't stop once you've reached adulthood (sorry wishful thinking teens), unless you're one of those flawless skinned models you see in mags (which by the way, I hear that isn't really true either...ah! the wonders of retouching, technology, etc...)

So what have I tried and find helps? It's rather expensive but I like charcoal facial masks. No, no, not to hide behind them. You put it on for ten mins and wash it off. Feels great. A trip to the facial lady/guy every now and then doesn't hurt either (not speaking wallet-wise). Vitamin E cream is great too.

Anyway, let me know what works, what doesn't or didn't. You may help some angst-ridden teen/adult...or me for that matter. Divulge!

PS: If all fails, concealer, concealer, concealer......:)

Food for Thought

2004-05-20T18:11:00.000+08:00

Is there a certain type of food or a specific dish that reminds you of happy or sad memories during your childhood? That was the question posed to me by one of my friends (we have weird conversations) and right away, I started rambling on and on about home-cooked meals, take-out and dine-out meals along with the memories each one came attached with. My friend must have regretted asking me the question because he didn't quite know how much I like food. Or talking about food. Or anything related to food for that matter.

Let's see... the first steak I remember eating was with none other than Tira, my dad and his business associate. My sister and I were both young and boy, how we struggled to finish our steaks. The portions were way too big for us so we had to bring the leftovers home in a doggybag. My sister and I find it amusing now because these days when we eat at steakhouses, we have one whole steak each. Plus appetizers. And salad. And soup. Oh, and let's not forget the dinner rolls with butter. Gone are the days of filling up on half a steak!

Then there's ice cream, glorious ice cream... I remember how Tira and I used to wait for the sound of Mr. Ice Cream Seller's bell signalling his arrival and how we ran out to yell "Ice cream! Tuuuuunnng, tuuuunggg! Yat kor Cornetto!" (that's "Ice cream! Wait, wait! One Cornetto!" for all non-Chinese speaking folks :P). Those were the only Chinese words we could utter fluently as kids. Oh wait, those are still the only Chinese words we can utter fluently now :P. But if for some reason we missed Mr Ice Cream Man and had a craving for ice cream that day, we would conveniently be outside the house after office hours to wait for our neighbour's daughter to arrive home from work. She always had extra Cornettos in the freezer and never thought twice about giving some to the two girls playing outside who then mysteriously ran into the house as soon as they got ice cream. How cheeky we were back then!

We also used to spend a lot of afternoons playing at our grandaunt's house while our mother went about her business. It was fun playing at my grandaunt's place because she participated in everything we did. But what I remember best is my grandaunt's cooking... boy, could she cook! Her specialities included potato and fish cakes, cold chicken salad with sesame seeds and lemon juice, acar with whole garlic pieces and fried potatoes with mixed vegetables and chicken. And being the great grandaunt she was, she also specially made non-spicy curry chicken with potatoes because she knew us kids couldn't handle spicy food. We haven't had that dish for years now since we've moved on to spicy food but damn, was that curry good!

It's also hard to not think of a turkey everytime I think of my grandaunt. Wait, that sounds horrible, but let me elaborate. The whole family would congregate at my grandaunt's house for the annual Christmas lunch and both she and my mother never failed to whip up a meal less fitting for a king. They would both slave away in the kitchen while the kids played and adults chattered. Our Christmas spread always consisted of a whole roast turkey with mushroom and chestnut stuffing, mashed potatoes, soup, sausages, mixed vegetables and brussel sprouts and it was all washed down with sparkling grape juice. After lunch, it was time to open presents and pull crackers while waiting for our dessert of vanilla ice cream and fruit cocktail.

And what walk down memory lane would be complete without talking about my mother and my father? To boil it down (no pun intended) to just a few dishes and memories would be impossible. My mother was always there with her chicken or fish porridge whenever one of us were sick. My dad was busy at work and often came home late but he made sure he made his yummy pancakes on Sunday mornings and often brought home fishballs and roasted pigeons (which tastes like chicken by the way) after work. My mom would deep-fry a whole chicken for my dad for his dinner (issues about fat and cholesterol were non-existent back then) and I would sit next to him so he could peel off the crispy chicken skin for me. I remember the many breakfasts my mother prepared for us before we headed off to school - scrambled eggs, cocktail sausages, fried rice etc and how she had to wake up at 4.30a.m. every morning just to prepare everything while we slept like pigs. She also made sure we had a litle tuppperware of food to tote to school for our recess. You'd probably have guessed by now, but we rarely went hungry at home or outside.

So anyway, I continued rambling on and on (much like this actually) and when I was finally done, my friend looked at me and said "I envy you... I asked you for both happy and sad memories and all your memories seem to be happy ones". And it was true. I know I must have had some unhappy moments in my childhood but I've just had so many more happier memories that they overshadow the sad ones. I realized then how lucky I was to have had such a great childhood because while it was great to have been surrounded by yummy food and never having to go hungry when I was young, it was even better to have been surrounded by my family. Because we all know that food always tastes better when we're surrounded by family and love anyway.

Wacky Laws Around the World

2004-05-18T03:25:00.000+08:00

I was doing some research on the Internet for my assignment when I came across this page with a list of crazy/ weird laws from around the world. Some are really funny, some are interesting but weird and some just lack plain common sense. I'm not sure if these laws really do exist though or if they're just made up but let's just pretend they're real (it's so much more fun that way!). Here are just some of the zanier few:-

In the United States:
In Miami, it's illegal for men to be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.

It is illegal to say "Oh, Boy" in Jonesboro, Georgia.

Chicago law prohibits eating in a place that is on fire.

In Clawson, Michigan, there is a law that makes it LEGAL for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.

No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic, onions, or sardines on his breath in Alexandria, Minnesota. If his wife so requests, law mandates that he must brush his teeth.

In Merryville, Missouri, women are prohibited from wearing corsets because "the privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American male."

Lovers in Liberty Corner, New Jersey, should avoid satisfying their lustful urges in a parked car. If the horn accidentally sounds while they are frolicking behind the wheel, the couple can face a jail term.

Harthahorne (Oklahoma) City Ordinance, Section 363, states that it shall be unlawful to put any hypnotized person in a display window.

It is illegal in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania., to sleep in a refrigerator.

An ordinance in Newcastle, Wyoming, specifically bans couples from having sex while standing inside a store's walk-in-meat freezer.

Elsewhere Around the World:
In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.

In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.

Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers; the sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.

The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.

There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time...Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.

In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.

Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in tropical fish stores.

In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her mother at the same time.

In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.

In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises."

**********

Suddenly the laws in Malaysia don't seem too bad or crazy eh? :)

"I Hope We Can Still be Friends"

2004-05-13T17:31:00.000+08:00

Breaking up is never easy, on the person doing the dumping or on the person being dumped. If you've ever been the Dumper or the Dumpee in a past relationship, you would have undoubtably uttered or heard the "I hope we can still be friends" line amidst all the other "I love you, I'm just not in love with you", "I never meant to hurt you", "I will always love you" and the ever popular "It's not you, it's me" breaking-up speech cliches. But I'm wondering, do the Dumpers really mean what they say while sitting across the person whose heart they're breaking or is it just a feeble attempt at making themselves feel better so they appear less like the bad guy? While I can't speak for everyone, I can however, offer my two sen on the matter because yes, I was once the Dumper.

I was in a 4-year relationship which ended last year and I learnt firsthand that uttering those lines only do more harm than good. They do nothing to appease the hurt and anger in the other person and in fact, only seem to make matters worse. For a while at least.

My ex, C and I had a rough 4 years with us being the on-again, off-again couple in our group of friends. No one took us seriously when we broke up because hey, there we were together again a week later. But I guess the death blow finally came when C announced his decision to work outstation. The alarm guarding the Rational Thinking department immediately went off in my head but I chose to ignore it and carried on with a long-distance relationship with C. As you can guess, things between us deteriorated quickly so I figured the most sensible thing to do would be to break up. It should have long occured to me that our relationship was hardly working out when we were face to face so what were the odds of it working when we were miles apart?

I told him of my decision when he came back for a visit and yes, those break-up cliches came spewing out as well and I guess there must have been an air of finality to my words because he looked absolutely crestfallen by the time I was done. He must have asked "Why?" a thousand times that night only to be answered by my looking down at the ground. I will never forget the look on his face and I felt lower than pond scum for saying "I hope we can still be friends" when I didn't even know if I had meant it or not. C, on the other hand, just got angry and left behind a string of obscenities before he left.

We went for weeks without speaking and I'm still not sure who was the first to pick up the phone but we did start talking again and C and I are now the best of friends. It took a while for us to get over the awkward moments (there are still some every now and then) but it helps to know that a normal friendship is much more fulfilling than a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship ever could be between us.

And just yesterday, he called to tell me that he was coming back to KL for good. Will things change for us in the future now that he's coming back? I don't think so. All I do know is, C will always be a permanent fixture in my life and I'm happy with that. And yes, I never meant to hurt him, will always love him and am grateful that we're still friends. I guess I really did mean what I said then.

Random Acts of Kindness

2004-05-10T12:18:00.000+08:00

I was watching the news the other day and a tv station had decided it was going to have a "Random Acts of Kindness" week.

It was interesting. Everyday for that week, they did something good, kind, etc...for strangers, in the hope that they in turn would do something good for someone else. One day, they bought strangers coffee and breakfast, another day they paid toll fares for commuters, and yet another day, they paid cab fares for those who catching one. All these strangers who received that random act of kindness were all asked to do something positive for someone else in return. I wonder how many did.

This of course brings to mind the movie, "Pay it Forward." I remember watching it with Sara and it made me cry! It seems so simple, someone does something nice for you and you pass it on. If everyone really did pass the good on, the world would be a much better place. It's so simple, but yet kind of complicated, eh? How many of us actually do it?

I don't know if I have carried out as many random acts of kindness in my life as I would like to. I wish I could say I did or do! It could be as easy as putting a few extra coins in to someone's expired meter so they don't get a ticket, buying someone coffee, giving someone flowers for no reason, all in the hope of making someone, a total stranger's day. It doesn't have to cost a lot, or be something out of one's way. Any simple, small gesture will do, just to put a smile on that person's face.

I am guilty of being selfish. I sometimes feel like I don't need to do something kind for someone I don't even know and will probably never cross paths with again. I feel like I need a reason, but is that really necessary to be nice to someone??? I am no meanie of course (or at least I don't think so). I do the everyday courtesy thing like mind my "p's and q's", hold the door for the person behind me, etc... but nothing randomly kind!

Anyway, I am thinking of what I can do. It's not easy for someone who's somewhat shy like myself to go and buy someone I don't know coffee or breakfast, I would hate to give someone the wrong impression. I do often buy food for the office, is that counted? Maybe not. Maybe I'll just go pop some coins in to someone's parking meter.

I'm going to visit the Random Acts of Kindness Foundation to see if I can get any ideas.

I am still thinking...I'll keep you updated!

Love Ya Mom!

2004-05-09T11:46:00.000+08:00

Just wanted to ditto my sis' sentiments. HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

Our mom's the greatest! She's the darling of the family.:) I mean this woman would lay down her life for us...and, she's the coolest. We can email her dirty jokes, swear in front of her (she'll swear back), go out with her as if she was our best friend (she is), etc...aiyah, the list goes on.:)

It's weird, cos when we were younger we used to rebel. But now, on days like new year's eve when we want to stay home and avoid the suffocating crowds, our mom will try to persuade us to go out, or she'd be ever willing to buy us alcohol so we can celebrate at home. I mean our mom will really make sure we're happy. She's the best!:) I'd do ANYTHING for this woman, our mom.

For the past two years, Sara and I have entered a newspaper's mother's day contest. And we've always come away feeling like ours should have been the winners - I am sure everyone else feels that way too, hehehe! Anyway, this year, we've decided not to enter any contests, instead we're posting one of the "poems" we came up with previously:

No matter how it's said,
Flowery words or sappy cards,
We decided to tell you straight from the heart,
"Mom, we love you very much!"

Just for fun's sake, we decided to look at some contest entries for a mother's day contest! We don't think they're all that, but that's just what we think. Damn, don't you think we'd have won if we submitted our poem??? (it's copyrighted, by the way:) )

Whatever it is, we just wanted to let everyone know...We love our mom and she's the best! :)

Happy Mothers' Day!

2004-05-09T11:25:00.000+08:00

"God couldn't be everywhere, therefore he created mothers" ~ Jewish Proverb

Happy Mothers' Day to all mothers!

xoxo,
Tira & Sara

Songs I Love to Hate

2004-05-07T03:05:00.000+08:00

Well, the long weekend is over (bummer!) and yours truly is currently suffering from serious chillin' and pigging out withdrawal symptoms. Warning: That's what you get when you attempt to return to some form of normalcy after 4 days of eating, sleeping and nothing much else. My couch now has an indentation in the shape of my body and is encrusted with crumbs from all the food I've been eating while lying down hahaha... not a pretty picture, I know.

I did however, amidst all the inactivity, manage to catch up on some worthwhile(?) reading online and came across several interesting music articles, one of which attracted my attention more than others. It featured Blender magazine and their choice of the 50 Worst Songs Ever and just reading it inspired me to come up with my own list of bad songs that I love to hate.

In my opinion, a song can be bad for a variety of reasons but more often that not, it's the bad lyrics and cheesy tunes that wear thin after a couple of listens. I do, however, also think that music is a matter of personal choice so a crappy song to some might literally sound like music to the ears to a whole lot of other people. While it's safe to say that I agree with more than half of Blender's choices, I thought some of the other tracks were pretty decent (come on, there are worse songs than John Mayer's Your Body is a Wonderland and Limp Bizkit's Rollin'!)

Topping the Blender list, however, is Starship's 1985 hit, We Built This City and while I agree the song is pretty crappy, I thought it couldn't possibly out-crap some of the rubbish we hear today. So I've compiled my own list of bad songs - you know, those songs that make you switch channels or stations as soon as you hear them or worse, make you want to throw your stereo out the window. Visibly absent from my list are boybands, teen popsters and UK pop bands, all for good reason. No, not because they sing great songs but because I think all their songs are pure crap and listing them would just be a waste of space and time.

So here they are - my personal choices for worst songs ever... all bad, all horrible and all definitely cringe-worthy.

15. Missing by Everything But The Girl Otherwise known as the boring lullaby. Play this song and I'll be out cold like a lightbulb in 20 seconds, 30 tops.

14. What's Up? by 4 Non Blondes A whole lotta wailing, yodeling and nothing much else actually.

13. The Sign by Ace Of Base Among all their similar sounding songs, this has got to be their worst. Don't Turn Around comes in a close second.

12. Shoulder To Cry On by Tommy Page Besides being one of my choices for worst song, the trophy for the most depressing song goes to this one as well. I'm not sure if you even remember Mr. Page but trust me, his half-dead singing on this particular track could make even the happiest man alive weep buckets of tears.

11. Big, Big World by Emilia Hmm, let's see which part of this song qualifies it as bad... "I'm a big big girl in a big big world, It's not a big big thing if you leave me, But I do do feel that I do do will miss you much". Yes yes, that would would be it it.

10. I Stand Alone by Godsmack Just one of the worst rock songs ever. And I rarely hate rock songs.

09. 500 Miles by The Proclaimers I have no other way of explaining this but listening to this song makes me wanna flex my (non-existent) muscles, march across the room and go "Grrrrrrr!", which can never be a good thing.

08. Who Let The Dogs Out by Baha Men I think the real question should be, who let this turkey out?!

07. It's a tie! Scatman by Scatman John / Mambo No. 5 by Lou Bega One hit wonders for both artistes. What a relief!

06. Ray Of Light by Madonna All her other songs are pretty unbearable too but I thought this particular one was a little worse because it was edging past the pop barrier into dance techno territory. Never a good thing with me.

05.Down With The Sickness by Disturbed I admit I liked this song when I first heard it. But it's hard to keep liking it when the "Ooh wah ah ah ah! Ohh ohh"s in the song start getting painful on the ears. Now it's just plain torture.

04. My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion Probably the most overplayed single from any movie soundtrack ever. I, along with many others I'm sure, suffered for months when I had to listen to it every second of the day and all that repetitious airplay made a shitload of money for Dion and her Titanic compadres. How unfair!

03. Blue by Eiffel 65 By far the most annoying song I have ever heard! A thousand mosquitoes buzzing around my ears would be less annoying.

02. The Ketchup Song by Las Ketchup Think Macarena (another horrible song and dance number) with chicks for singers. Note: It's also a crappy idea to name your song after a condiment you would dip your chicken wings in, even if your father's name is Tomate.

And now, for my number one choice of the worst song ever... (drumroll please)

01. Lemon Tree by Fool's Garden This song exploded everywhere when it was released! I remember going shopping at Sungei Wang Plaza one weekend and they had this plastic lemon tree at its entrance which played the song everytime the button was pressed. Naturally thousands of people kept pressing it so the song kept playing on and on... and on... and on... and on......... I could have burnt that tree down there and then, I tell ya. That was a few years ago and hearing it still bugs me as much, if not more, today. The childish tune, the lyrics a 10-year-old kid could have written... there's just nothing good about this song!

So there you have it, my two sen on 15 of the worst songs ever. I could have expanded my list to 20 or even 50 but just thinking about all these songs has given me a headache. What about you? What songs do you find bad, annoying or just plain love to hate?

Two's Enough, Thanks!

2004-05-02T13:25:00.000+08:00

How many of us have had one too many drinks and ended up acting like a fool???

I am guilty of: throwing up all over the bathroom, wanting to sleep on the road, crying, suddenly becoming a flirt and a chatterbox (I'm quite quiet and shy in person sans alcohol), swearing a whole lot, etc...

Yes, yes, I know...it's not lady-like, could be dangerous, etc...Funny thing is, when I am sober and I see someone drunk and acting all stupid, I KNOW it's unsightly, annoying, embarrassing and sometimes could be looked upon as plain slutty and cheap.

It's just that alcohol impairs my judgement (yeah, really). I take one and I feel a little loosened up. A couple more and I am a little more loosened up, somewhat happier and talk more. More drinks into the night and I feel like everyone's my best friend, I say things that are on my mind and give my unwanted opinions on everything. Suddenly I feel like the only way I can have fun is with more drinks and that it's cool for me to drink as much as I do (don't know why I think that but I do), the inner alcoholic in me gets unleashed!

Fortunately, I don't party as much as I used to. Just the occasional once every six months or so. But when I party, I PARTY, end up drinking more than I should. Lucky for me, I don't drive in the city, so usually a designated driver friend sends me home.

Worst thing about drinking too much? Apart from the awful hangover the next day and swearing never to drink again, is trying to remember what I said the night before...worst yet, wishing I hadn't said some things or acted the crazy way I had or given the digits to someone I didn't know. Gulp.

Doubly worst is being drunk at an office holiday party, crying, and then having to go to work the next day. ARGH!!!!

Anyway, I have decided to limit the alcohol intake to two drinks. Yes, dos, due, deux, dua. TWO!!!! I've spent way too much hard earned money on useless drinks that just get peed away. Plus I'm just getting too old to be throwing up all over the place, the clean-up isn't exactly fun either, by the way. Enough embarrassing moments for me.

Camera Olympus 765

2004-05-02T12:57:00.000+08:00

Thank you everyone for emailing me about digicams! The response was overwhelming! But as Sara would know, I am as fickled as anyone can be...so before I make a final purchase....please let me know what your thoughts are on the latest Olympus c-765!

I am not the most technology savvy person around and any feedback is appreciated! Let me know if there's a digicam around that I should know about or look into. THANKS!

A Sobering Message

2004-04-30T02:40:00.000+08:00

This is Jacqueline Saburido before September 19, 1999.

This is the car Jacqueline was in when she
was hit by a drunk 18-year old student.

This is Jacqueline today.

Early on Sunday morning September 19, 1999, Jacqui - then 20 years old - and four friends were on their way home from a birthday party. Reggie Stephey, an 18-year-old high school student, was on his way home from drinking beer with some buddies. On a dark road on the outskirts of Austin, Texas, Reggie's SUV veered into the Oldsmobile carrying Jacqui and the others. Two passengers in the car were killed at the scene and two were rescued. Within minutes, the car caught fire. Jacqui was pinned in the front seat on the passenger side. She was burned over 60% of her body; no one thought she could survive. But Jacqui lived. Her hands were so badly burned that all of her fingers had to be amputated. She lost her hair, her ears, her nose, her left eyelid and much of her vision. She has had more than 50 operations since the crash and has many more to go.

In June 2001 Reggie Stephey was convicted of two counts of intoxication manslaughter for the deaths of Jacqui's two friends. He was sentenced to seven years in prison and fined $20,000. ~ www.helpjacqui.com

-----------------------------------------------------------

Jacqueline Saburido is an amazing woman. I saw her on the Oprah show a few days ago and was deeply touched and saddened by what she had to say. I cried when I saw her interview and I don't usually cry when I watch TV. The thing that touched me most about Jacqui was her positive outlook on life and her willingness to forgive. She accepts the way she looks and only allows herself 5 minutes a day to feel sorry for herself and cry. She also doesn't harbour any hatred towards Reggie Stephey or think of him as an evil person, just someone who made the wrong decision one fateful morning.

Let Jacqui's story be a lesson to all of us. We all love to have a good time and more often than not, friends and alcohol seem like the perfect combination. But let's be honest here, lots of us have made or allowed someone else to make the same decision Reggie Stephey made that morning. We've allowed our friends to drive home a little drunk or convinced our own friends that we were sober enough to drive. I guess the problem with most of us is, we take life for granted and think that the bad stuff only happens to other people, never to ourselves.

Well, I'd hate for this to sound like a public service announcement but I really hope these pictures make us think twice about the responsibility that comes with drinking or driving. Remember, it's all fine and dandy if you get into an accident and die but what happens if you end up paralyzed or disfigured like Jacqui or worse, end up paralyzing, disfiguring or killing someone else? I doubt any one of us would want to be in Jacqueline Saburido's or Reggie Stephey's position so think about it the next time you're planning to drink and drive.

Want to know more about Jacqueline's life before and after the accident? You can download the full story here.

Weekend, Pet Peeves and What not.

2004-04-27T11:00:00.000+08:00

I think I am going to be sick. I have a huge fat migraine and I feel like throwing up. Light is killing me, so writing and staring at this screen is not helping...but I will survive! See what I do just so you know what an exciting weekend I've had??

Well actually I didn't have all too an exciting one...

On Friday I met up with my friend for dinner. I had cherry glazed duck for my entree and a french martini to drink. I could have drunk 10 of them, but I didn't want to look like an alcoholic. I have friends whom I can cry with, some whom I can get drunk and act silly with, some who are just movie friends, some eating friends, etc...I was with the latter.

The duck was delicious though, so tender and not fatty like some sold by the chinese stores here. It's hard to get good duck in the city. Oh, back to my dinner...for dessert, we shared a creme brulee. YUM!

Then on Saturday, I met up with another friend and her son at the Cherry Blossom festival in Japantown. Her bf was helping out at this booth which was giving out free sake. Yes, you guessed it - she's my drinking friend. Anyway, the weather was great, nice and hot especially after a week of fog and rain. Nothing like some sake (did I mention free??) while basking in the sun.

That's about my weekend I guess! I used to be a lot more fun I think. But as I've gotten older, I am just happy staying home, writing my blog, reading a book, watching a movie. I remember when I used to crave going out on Friday and Saturday nights....AH! Those were the days of calling each and every friend to find out where everyone was heading to that night, spending hours primping, choosing what to wear (showing some skin was always a plus), etc.

Now it's a different story. I still go out once in awhile to have a good time but I drink less (shut up Sara!), don't really care which is the hippest spot to be at and less skin is best.

I sound like a fuddy-dud but really, if you've gone out to clubs, etc...don't you think it's about who's prettier, who's wearing the tightest top, who's showing more leg, etc... Okie, I mean you meet friends and you're in great company, but who are you kidding? It's still about who's wearing what, etc... AHHHHH!!!!!! I just want to wear my baggy t-shirt and shorts with my oh-so comfy "ah-por" sandals. It's too stressful to go out. Wearing what I wear I'd probably get "the body scan" these days.

You know, that look where someone (usually of the same sex) scans you from head to toe. Ugh! I hate that. Who's to say they're better than I am? Damn it, they're not! It irritates the hell outta me when they do that. Just one of those little things that bug me...this brings me to my pet peeves!

Here are just some of them:
* wearing a sweater in midday heat just cos you think it's fashionable (you're not)
* wearing your sunglasses indoors or on the top of your head just cos you think it's fashionable (you're not)
* cell phones ringing in the theater, at church, places where you know you should have shut that damn thing off
* blogs that you've read about 100 times and you just don't understand what they're saying because they're grammatically rong
* dressing from head to toe in branded clothes, and you know it's branded cos the logos are blatantly displayed infront of you, or worst still, they'll tell you what they are (without you asking)
* too much perfume ( I used to be guilty! I've learned less is more, unless of course you have bad BO)
* if you didn't know that "rong" is wrong
* renting a movie like "Babe" just cos you thought it was some supermodel's biographical movie only to find out it's about a pig (this is true, i didn't make it up!)
* telling people you're nice, kind, patient, generous, etc...except you're really not. You should let others realize or decide or tell you
* eating and talking at the same time - results in spit everywhere and not a very pretty sight for the one you're talking to
* wiggling her bottom as she walks in her short skirt or short shorts thinking she's-all-that, cute, etc...only she doesn't realize she's got the dreaded "toilet seat" mark (okie, this should probably go into the "hahaha, that's for body scanning me, you stupid B*tch" list)

To be continued....my migraine is nagging me :((what are your pet peeves? feel free to repeat, so I know I am not alone!)

The Pit(s)

2004-04-26T19:06:00.000+08:00

I am super exhausted today! I decided to stay up to do my assignment last night and slept at 7a.m.. but I was awake by 11a.m to help my mum with this "family project" we're doing.

A few months ago, my mother suggested we buy a BBQ set for our backyard so we could have one whenever we wanted. I was excited at the idea of having future BBQ parties with the family or with friends and apparently so was my brother. Only he was excited for a whole different reason- he wanted to build the BBQ pit instead of purchasing one. Ahhh... it sounds so simple, doesn't it? Spread some cement, lay some bricks, stick the grill on and voila, your barbecue pit is ready! In your dreams, buddy... in your dreams!

My brother was genuinely interested in erecting the pit in the beginning. He checked the internet for designs, bought the tools and made frequent trips to the hardware store for the cement, sand and bricks. But as the days passed and the problems arose, he soon grew tired and irritated and lost interest. So what's a mother and sister to do when there's a semi-finished barbecue pit in the garden? We women take over and attempt to finish it.

So there we were, in the hot sun for more than 7 hours, laying brick after brick before it started to rain. It is a back-breaking job and I am sure I will suffer for it tomorrow but here's the good news... I have to get up extra early to do it again haha! I actually don't mind though since I'll be able to proudly say I had a part in building it when it's finally done... unless, of course, it looks crappy :P

It's off to bed for me now since I only had 4 hours of sleep last night. If I keep this up, I'll be looking like Keith Richards by the time I'm 30. I figure I'll need at least 8 hours of sleep tonight to have enough energy to finish up the job my wussy brother couldn't complete. Proof yet again that we women are the wiser and stronger of the species ;)

Just a word of advice for those of you who are planning on having a BBQ pit in your home... buy it, don't make it!!

Berry White has a best voice!

2004-04-24T11:48:00.000+08:00

I was looking for a cd that I had misplaced and came across a "Berry White" cd that I had bought some years ago at Petaling Street. Yes, I know it's a typo! I know, I know... it's Barry White. But how many others do?

I agree with Sara, our standard of English has taken a nose-dive and people don't read enough. I am so glad our parents always emphasized the importance of reading and instilled in us the love of books. Although I didn't know it was World Book Day or whatever, I do know that it's important to get kids to start reading at an early age.

While our English isn't perfect, we do strive to make our blog at least understandable. We would hate for our blog to read like bad subtitles of pirated dvds. Whenever we watch movies, I think we end up laughing at the literal translations of the subtitles than the movie itself. Hehehe, and of course pirated cds, like Mr White, have some of their songs spelled incorrectly in the track listings, etc...it's hilarious, almost embarrassing too.

PS: And if you didn't already know it, it's Barry White has a good voice (even if it's not necessarily true, well you're smart enough to know it's just an example...I hope.)

Time-out!

2004-04-24T02:22:00.000+08:00

Do you ever go through phases where you don't feel like seeing anybody you know? Yes, I'm talking about your closest friends, your pals, your chums. I'm going through something like that right now. Don't get me wrong. I love my friends to death and cannot live without them but sometimes, just sometimes, I would like to be left alone. Allow me to elaborate further.

I have wonderful friends, most of whom I met during my first year of college. We have tons of fun together, we understand each other's jokes, love the same type of music and movies and most importantly, we love each other. Did I mention we were a group of 9 guys and 2 girls? Here lies the problem. Weekend after weekend of smoking and drinking, 11 birthdays a year (which means more smoking and drinking) and hours and hours of snooker and mamak sessions for 6 years has finally taken its toll on me. I've become exhausted and therefore need a time-out from my friends every now and then.

I have a weakness for my friends, though. Everytime I'm tempted to say no to a trip to the pub or snooker centre or wherever it is we're going, I end up going anyway out of guilt. This time, however, I'm determined. One of my closest buds is celebrating his 25th birthday at a pub next week and I'm not in the mood to go. I deserve some alone time. I think my lungs and liver need a much deserved break too.

World Book Day

2004-04-23T02:01:00.000+08:00

It's World Book Day today so I thought it appropriate to talk about, what else, books! I love books. LOVE them. I love how easily I'm captivated and transported to another world from the first word on the first page. I love how, amidst all the craziness in the world today, I can retreat to a quiet place and curl up with a good book to escape the real world for a make-believe one even if for just a little while.

I've been reading since I was a little kid. I loved books by Enid Blyton, Roald Dahl and Judy Blume (and let's not forget those goddamn Sweet Valley High, Sweet Dreams and Babysitters' Club books) when I was in primary school but soon worked my way up to books by Christopher Pike (much thanks to Tira for the first one I read!), R.L. Stine and (gasp!) those goddamn Mills & Boons romance novels. Thankfully, my choice of books has improved with age (I hope) so you'd most probably find serious fiction, autobiographies/ biographies or true life stories, chick lit. and the occasional mystery/crime novel on my nightstand nowadays.

As people around the world read more with each passing year, you'd think that more Malaysians would have jumped on the bandwagon and started reading too right? Wrong. According to a recent survey, the average Malaysian reads only two books a year. Pretty depressing, don't you think? What's even more depressing is that two books a year is actually a vast improvement from the results of a survey taken in 1982. Back then, the average Malaysian read an equivalent of two newspaper pages a year. So it took us 22 years to advance from two pages of the newspaper to 2 books a year. No wonder the level of spoken and written English in Malaysia is so horrific!

Well, I guess it would be unfair for me to comment and criticize so freely since not everyone can afford to buy books. Furthermore, there are no decent libraries around, those rent-a-book places suck to high heavens and book clubs are practically non-existent in Malaysia. But I bet if everyone spent their money more wisely instead of spending it on the "Latte Factor" (anything that is unnecessary and easy to give up), they could be owning and reading more books!

Well, I've been digressing a bit there since I am supposed to be writing about books and not the reading habits of Malaysians :P So anyway...

Since today is World Book Day and I happen to love books so much, I would like to dedicate my whole section on the right to books - the one I've just started reading today, my recommendations and those that I look forward to reading in the near future. So check 'em out and have a great time reading!

Facing the Issues

2004-04-19T09:52:00.000+08:00

Face the Issue

These "Face the Issue" animations/ads are definitely worth a visit. They address serious issues such as bulimia, drugs, self-esteem, etc...Many people suffer, some silently. All too often I think people keep masks on, pretend to be "ok." They seem fine to us, but deep inside they're dying.

I hope this website and the ads reach out to these people. And in turn, they will seek help to find their true selves again.

Also on the "Face the Issue" website are message boards where recovery stories are posted.

2004-04-17T00:53:00.000+08:00

Ooooo... while we're on the subject of crushes, I would like to divulge some of my own. First off, let it be known that I have a tremendous weakness for rocker dudes and guys with long hair or a wicked sense of humour. They needn't look hunky (in fact some of them on my list can be considered fugly) but I do think certain guys need to possess that extra something to be able to carry off flowing tresses or be really, really funny. So here they are in no particular order: Jack Black, Takeshi Kaneshiro, Ben Stiller, Eric Schweig in The Last of the Mohicans, Will Ferrell, William H. Macy, Dave Grohl of The Foo Fighters, Adam Sandler, Raine Maida of Our Lady Peace, Owen & Luke Wilson, Giovanni Ribisi, Nate Berkus and Conan O' Brien! Oh, and not forgetting M, who is a friend of a friend and is the epitome of everything I want in a guy :D

I think having crushes is fun... it makes your imagination work overtime by fantasizing (because let's face it, what are the odds of Takeshi having a crush back on me?) and it's just nice to act a little crazy and go ga-ga over somebody unattainable. Well, unless it's M, because I definitely want him to be attainable... to me!!!! See how crazy I'm getting? :P

*****************************************

My vote goes to LaToya London in American Idol. I think Fantasia (and maybe George) are the only people to provide some competition for her but it's LaToya London for me all the way!!!

Crushes

2004-04-15T11:08:00.000+08:00

I am XX years old (let's say above 21, not yet 30) and sigh, I have the weirdest crushes. They may not be Brad Pitt or anyone with a six-pack, but somehow they've got me drooling and wishing I could be visible in their eyes. Don't get me wrong. I would go out with Brad Pitt, Orlando Bloom, Hugh Jackson in a heatbeat! But there's just something extra that makes "crushes" crushes. It's weird how crushes work. They're not anyone I would probably end up with in real-life but it's an option sure worth exploring and "a-dreaming".

In my own words, I define a crush as someone whom I admire. Someone I wish I could go out with or someone I think is the perfect human being, for me anyway (but not necessarily).

I have liked a lot of people but I haven't had many crushes! This might come to a surprise to many (including my sis) but I've had major crushes on:

1) David Copperfield - damn that magic and those mysterious eyes! oooh, levitate my baby.....

2) Quentin Tarantino - Kill Me

3) Simon Cowell - are those tight black tees yummy or what? And not to mention that cold hard honesty...triple yum.

4) This old guy at church - old, but sophisticated, nice, etc....sigh...

5) Clay Aiken - a good heart, a good voice, a good personality....sigh x 2

Yeah okie, so I am watching American Idol right now ( I hope Fantasia Barrino wins by the way), and it's affected some of my crush choices. But really, these guys got me goin'.....

Also,
6) Adrien Brody - I wished I were Halle Berry

7) Kevin Bacon - He's smokin'!!!!!!!!!

8) Colin Firth, Aidan Quinn, Michael Vartan

9) Andre 3000

10) Michael Wong

Oh well, life goes on.:)

2004-04-14T16:03:00.000+08:00

If you're an avid fan of soccer or David Beckham, you would have most certainly heard or read about the two women who have recently come forward, saying they once had an affair with the soccer star. And as luck would have it, one of them happens to be a Malaysian-born model. It seems the minute someone who is remotely famous is Malaysian-born, that's all we see splashed in the newspapers. But I digress. I don't know if any of these stories are true but I'm secretly hoping they're not. While I'm no fan of either Posh or Becks, it's nice to see two celebrities who have been married for a few years still so in love with each other while all the other unions sour so prematurely in Celebrity Land. But if the rumours do turn out to be true, I'm pretty sure that would spell the end of the golden British couple pretty soon.

Sometimes I wonder how and why so many celebrity marriages go kaput so quickly. Sure, hectic lifestyles, pressures of work and constant temptations could be blamed but then there are couples aplenty who manage to overcome all these obstacles and stay married for decades! Just look at Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward. They've been married for more than 45 years! Then again in some marriages, time contributes absolutely nothing towards the stability of marriage. Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman, for example, decided to call it quits after more than 10 years of marriage!

I guess sometimes it gets a little scary when we hear of so many celebrity marriages breaking up. It makes me think that if couples like Tom and Nicole (and quite possibly Becks and Posh in the near future), who had everything (including what many thought was a solid marriage) could split so easily, what chances do we normal people have of having successful relationships?

-------------------------------------------------------------

I saw Love Actually two days ago and I absolutely loved it! I thought it was a really sweet movie and I also liked the fact that not all the stories had happy endings. The only story I didn't quite enjoy was the Liam Neeson one with his son. We all wished we had a dad that cool but I thought it was a little farfetched when he told his son to run through airport security just to tell the girl he loved her. I have to agree with my sister... Colin Firth and the Karl guy in the movie are such hotties!!!!

2004-04-14T12:13:00.000+08:00

I've finally done my taxes! Actually I didn't realize April 15th was this Thursday till this past weekend. Anyway, I've done them online and unfortunately I freakin' owe A LOT!

Thought I'd get some money back to finance my summer trip or at least get myself a digital camera. Too bad. :( By the way, if you know of a good digital camera, please email me!

I am thinking of an Olympus C-50 or 750. Any feedback on those or recommendations?? Email please!

My landlady called to say that someone was going to change the cable equipment this Thursday....this means time to clean-up! It's weird how I am such a germ freak but I hate cleaning. It's double duty cleaning this week as I am cleaning up my workplace too - making space for new people in the dept. Nope, not leaving my workplace ( I wish!).

Other than that I haven't had an exciting day. I did eat a whole lot of desserts though, pandan cake, brownie, gummy bears and to end the day, I had flan and salty licorice. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2004-04-13T03:58:00.000+08:00

NOTE: If you've been checking in with our blog every now and then, you would have noticed something a little different today. Ad and An no longer exist! No, no, we're not calling it quits but rather, we've decided to change our nicknames, Ad and An to something a lil' more interesting and erm, human. So from this post forth, An=Tira and Ad (that's me!) =Sara!

2004-04-11T21:45:00.000+08:00

HAPPY EASTER!

I celebrated the day by having Lazyman's Cioppino at Pier 47, with a friend. It was a belated birthday treat and it was really good (not the treat part, well that too, but it was delicious)!

After that, we just walked around and I bought a cheap sweater and tote bag. Wanted to go for a drink but oddly enough most places were closed downtown!

Anyway, I came home and ate lots of Daim Chocs, which was really yummy, so i had some more and I felt sick. I always do this, I love to eat something and I eat it in excess till I feel yucky. My weaknesses? Salty licorice and gummy bears, well gummy any candy really.

After that I watched one of my favorite reality shows (apart from "American Idol", which I am not proud to admit that I watch!), "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition." I think it's one of the better and more touching shows. They choose a home to renovate in a week and it's usually a family who really deserve it. This week featured a family whose son became paralysed from the neck down after being involved in an accident. He could not go up to the second floor like he did before the accident and he had to enter the house through the back door since the house was not equipped with a ramp for his wheelchair.

The Extreme Makeover team sent the family on a cruise and worked on the house for a week. It was gorgeous!!! I do wonder though how they do it and how sturdy the house is. I am sure they do a good job and it never fails to move me to tears. Very touching.

One reality show I do think is awful is the one that just started last week. I believe every week two women are chosen to get complete makeovers. This means liposuction, breast implants, brow lifts, etc...The women chosen had low self-esteems but I thought they looked decent enough to function in society. If I am not mistaken one was even a flight attendant!

These women are not allowed to look in the mirror during the months they undergo their makeovers. After that, one of the two women get chosen to enter "The Swan" beauty pageant which is held after 12 women are chosen through the makeovers.

I just think it would be so much better to help kids who have cleft lips/palates, burn survivors, etc...- people who really need the makeovers.

-------------------------------------------------------

It's a week since Daylight Saving...still having trouble getting up in the morning. Amazing how one hour can really make a difference. I have six months to get used to it I guess.

Oh yeah, by the way, I loved "Love Actually". I thought it was hilarious and of course it helped that Colin Firth is a babe, and that other guy too (if you've seen this movie you know who I am talking about!). YUM. I saw it last year, so I can't talk about it much but I know I wouldn't mind watching it again. It's a good movie to watch during Christmas I think since it revolves around that season. An all around feel-good movie.

2004-04-11T02:35:00.000+08:00

Happy Easter sis!!!! Happy Easter everyone!!!

I'd love to write more but I just got home from celebrating so am going to catch some zzzzs now. Ta!

2004-04-09T00:27:00.000+08:00

I spent a good portion of last night and early morning watching a bunch of movies - Lost in Translation, Best in Show, Stuck on You and Scary Movie 3. I liked Scary Movie 1 & 2 but I thought the 3rd installment just plain sucked so I won't even talk about it. The other three movies I watched, I enjoyed tremendously.

I am a huge Peter & Bobby Farrelly fan and have yet to dislike any of the movies they've made. Oh wait, I take that back. Hated Me, Myself & Irene. Oh, and Osmosis Jones. Okay, so I like most of their movies. But I absolutely loved Stuck on You. Neither Greg Kinnear or Matt Damon are my favourite actors but I thought the two of them made their conjoined twins characters seem believable and they seemed to have a genuine brotherly rapport onscreen. We all know that the Farrelly Brothers are famous for producing movies that "make fun" of certain types of people and this movie isn't any different. Just bear in mind that it's a comedy and I'm sure you'll enjoy it as much as I did.

I was so excited about watching Lost in Translation after hearing all the hype at award shows and reading the rave reviews about it everywhere. I don't think it's fair to say I came away disappointed after watching it... I just expected it to be a lot funnier and different. But I thought Bill Murray was really good in this film and he was probably the most deserving actor to receive the Oscar for Best Male Performance after Sean Penn. I thought the stocking and hospital scenes were hilarious :P

Best in Show, I know, is one of my sister's favourite movies so right there, I had high expectations for this film. I know my sister and I usually like the same movies but I thought that Best in Show was just an average flick. The documentary style aspect of it was certainly different and it had its funny moments so I enjoyed it enough but I don't think I'll classify it as one of my favourite films :-) It's a good way of passing a couple of hours though.

Am in the mood for another movie tonight so I guess it's going to be Love Actually!

2004-04-07T00:35:00.000+08:00

Yucky relatives are here in KL. Staying in the same house. Food poisoning. Migraine. Assignments. Increase in weight due to eating out with said relatives. Supposed to be on diet. Relatives only leaving on Thursday. No new DVDs to watch. Bored to death. Bah.

2004-04-04T11:36:00.000+08:00

Dalight Saving Time begins today! We moved our clocks one hour forward at 2am today - the first Sunday of April. If I am not mistaken, it ends October 31st, this year.

This means I had one hour less of sleep...yawn. This also means I am now 15 hours behind Malaysian time (as opposed to 16).

I'll write again later when I have recovered....

2004-03-30T18:18:00.000+08:00

I got on my stationary bicycle for the first time in months (okie, more like 2 years) and boy, was that a killer! It was a pretty pathetic workout session though... I used to be able to cycle an hour straight but today, 10 minutes was all my body could take! Sad huh?

Have also got an immense craving for pizza, which is weird because pizzas aren't exactly my favourite food. Oh, did I mention that today was my first day of dieting? I guess that's the funny thing about dieting. Suddenly EVERYTHING tastes and looks good :P

I picked up a copy of the Malaysian Cleo today when I saw the words "50 Most Eligible Bachelors" on the front. I usually find Cleo super boring so I only buy 2 copies a year - the first one to see who the bachelors are and the second one to see who won. Imagine my surprise today when I flicked to the bachelors' page and saw one of my friends! He really is smart and quite a cutie but will he win? Erm, no I don't think so. I'm not being mean or anything but it's just that year after year, the winner seems to look like a super hunk and my friend is just well, cute.

That makes me wonder how the contestants are judged though. Sometimes I think the name of the contest should be "10 Hunkiest Guys Who Will Get An Award & 40 Average (and sometimes below average) Looking Guys Who Won't Stand A Chance". Why do they even ask the bachelors questions when it is so painfully obvious that the winners are chosen based solely on their looks? I remember this one guy last year who gave the stupidest answers ever but still made it home with an award just because he was goodlooking. The same thing will probably happen this year and then real eligible guys like my friend will get shoved to the bottom and be forever forgotten.

Well, I guess you can't take the Cleo contest too seriously since it is all in good pure fun. It does bum me out a little but then a small part of me has to admit that it sometimes is fun to judge a guy only by his looks. I mean, guys have been doing the same thing to us women so why can't we do the same to them?

Til next time ~Ad~

2004-03-30T10:16:00.000+08:00

Cheer up Ad! I mean at least you've got an excuse, you're still studying!! I have to admit I have been and probably still am stuck in a rut. I mean I've worked for the past few years and I haven't amounted to anything that I had thought I would be at right now at this time in my life.

I have friends too who have made names for themselves, and as you said, some are doctors, lawyers, accountants, you name it and I am sure I have a friend who has achieved that.

But I really think that success is all up to the individual, what you make of it and most importantly, if you're happy. Let's just think about someone like...I don't know, Mother Teresa? I think that she led a really great life, but she wasn't someone who had all the money in the world, big cars, fancy clothes, etc...On the contrary, she was simple but I am sure she was happy and contented.

It's probably a lot easier for me to say it than it is for you to feel it right now, but really, I think you'll amount to a lot more after your graduation and who knows, someone you email in the future could be envying you.

Honestly speaking though (I digress a bit here), I think we've come a long way. Not many people know what we've gone through. We've had more downs than ups, but we've always pulled through. I don't know about you Ad, but I've always been one of the "poorest" among my friends. I had always envied them as well. I remember once, my school had a school trip and I knew it was costly. I didn't even ask mom about it, instead I just told my friends that I was not allowed to go. Many of you may think that was stupid and I should have just asked my mom! But I didn't want her to feel bad or for her to say that she could not afford it.

There was also once this dance party at school. It was a formal do, something like a prom. Everyone was so excited about the dresses they were going to wear and have made. Again, I knew that mom would not be able to afford so rather than have to ask if i could, I decided just to say that I was not allowed to.

Then there were my unbranded clothes and sneakers. I remember all my friends had branded ones like Reebok, Levi's, etc...They would also tell me of their trip to LA, Disneyland, etc...over the summer. I remember I didn't go anywhere, and my shoes were the not-so-branded ones, and jeans? I think we got our bright blue ones from the market!

Even now, if you've read my previous entries, I still seem to be surrounded by those kinds of friends and people. But through it all, I never felt like I had to conform, that I needed to make mom buy any of those things for us.

We never really had those fancy schmancy stuff, but Ad and I have talked about how happy we were and are. I think we've got a great family and we all get along great. That's what counts the most. Then surround yourself with true friends who aren't going to make you feel bad, and you've got it made!

Sometimes I think you just need to find those true friends. I know I have only a handful, well maybe not even. People who are going to accept you as you are and who are not going to be in competition with you. People who are not going to put on fake accents, pretend they are all that, when they are actually striving to be something they are not.

So, I am rambling off and going in all directions, but what I really mean to say is that it's all about happiness! And if you're still sad, hey, think about your sis here who's still stuck in this shit-hole.:)

2004-03-29T19:42:00.000+08:00

I received an e-mail from an old friend today and in that e-mail, she was telling me how successful she was in her work and lovelife over in the United States. She was merely informing me on the latest developments in her life and wasn't gloating or anything but I couldn't help but feel a bit depressed after reading that. I am happy for her but miserable for me. Everyone around my age that I know of seems to be doing really well in life and I'm... well, I'm still studying and trying to find myself. 2 old schoolmates are on their way to becoming doctors, another is a lawyer and another one has opened up his own company; a relative is working for a prestigious fashion house in France and a younger cousin has just been accepted to study overseas for free!

I know comparing your life with someone else's is a stupid thing to do but I guess we all do it sometimes, especially when we hear how well other people are doing. At least I hope other people do it, otherwise I might have a serious problem :P I only hope I amount to something after I graduate next year!

********************

I think the ongoing controversy of gay marriages is a sticky subject to deal with. On one hand, you have the law and religious beliefs and on the other, freedom to love whoever you want, regardless of age, race and yes, even gender. I believe in true love... and if two people are lucky enough to experience that with each other and want to get married, there definitely can't be anything wrong in that, even if they are of the same sex, don't you think?

Til next time ~Ad~

2004-03-29T11:31:00.000+08:00

Following is a moving letter from singer/actress Bette Midler to Bush, it summons up my (and I am sure many others, as well) sentiments about the marriage of gay couples. I think it's great that gay couples are allowed similar rights as that of any other couple. It's about love and it doesn't harm anyone. It's about two people who love each other and should not concern anyone else.

Dear President Bush,

Today you called upon Congress to move quickly to amend the US Constitution, and set in Federal stone a legal definition of marriage. I would like to know why.

In your speech, you stated that this Amendment would serve to protect marriage in America, which I must confess confuses me. Like you, I believe in the importance of marriage and I feel that we as a society take the institution far too lightly. In my circle of family, friends and acquaintances, the vast majority have married and divorced - some more than once. Still, I believe in marriage. I believe that there is something fundamental about finding another person on this planet with whom you want to build a life and family, and make a positive contribution to society. I believe that we need more positive role models for successful marriage in this country - something to counteract the images we get bombarded with in popular culture. When we are assaulted with images of celebrities of varying genres, be it actors, sports figures, socialites, or even politicians who shrug marriage on and off like the latest fashion, it is vitally important to the face of our nation, for our children and our future, that we have a balance of commitment and fidelity with which to stave off the negativity. I search for these examples to show my own daughter, so that she can see that marriage is more than a disposable whim, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

As a father, I'm sure you have faced these same concerns and difficulties in raising your own daughters. Therefore I can also imagine that you must understand how thrilled I have been over the past few weeks to come home and turn on the news with my family. To finally have concrete examples of true commitment, honest love, and steadfast fidelity was such a relief and a joy. Instead of speaking in the hypothetical, I was finally able to point to these men and women, standing together for hours in the pouring rain, and tell my child that this is what its all about. Forget Britney. Forget Kobe. Forget Strom. Forget about all the people that we know who have taken so frivolously the pure and simple beauty of love and tarnished it so consistently. Look instead at the joy in the beautiful faces of Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon - 51 years together! I mean, honestly Mr. President - how many couples do you know who are together for 51 years? I'm sure you agree that this love story provides a wonderful opportunity to teach our children about the true meaning and value of marriage. On the steps of San Francisco City Hall, rose petals and champagne, suits and veils, horns honking and elation in the streets; a celebration of love the likes of which this society has never seen.

This morning, however, my joy turned to sadness, my relief transformed into outrage, and my peace became anger. This morning, I watched you stand before this nation and belittle these women, the thousands who stood with them, and the countless millions who wish to follow them. How could you do that, Mr. President? How could you take something so beautiful - a clear and defining example of the true nature of commitment - and declare it to be anything less? What is it that validates your marriage which somehow doesn't apply to Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon? By what power, what authority are you so divinely imbued that you can stand before me and this nation and hold their love to a higher standard?

Don't speak to me about homosexuality, Mr. President. Don't tell me that the difference lies in the bedroom. I would never presume to ask you or your wife how it is you choose to physically express your love for one another, and I defy you to stand before Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon and ask them to do the same. It is none of my business, as it is none of yours, and it has nothing to do with the "sanctity of marriage". I'm sure you would agree that marriage is far more than sexual expression, and its high time we all started focusing on all the other aspects of a relationship which hold it together over the course of a lifetime. Therefore, with the mechanics of sex set aside, I ask you again - what makes a marriage? I firmly believe that whatever definition you derive, there are thousands upon thousands of shining examples for you to embrace.

You want to protect marriage. I admire and support that, Mr. President. Together, as a nation, let us find and celebrate examples of what a marriage should be. Together, let us take couples who embody the principles of commitment, fidelity, sacrifice and love, and hold them up before our children as role models for their own futures. Together, let us reinforce the concept that love is about far more than sex, despite what popular culture would like them to believe.

Please, for the sake of our children, for the sake of our society, for the sake of our future, do not take us down this road. Under the guise of protection, do not support divisiveness. Under the guise of unity, do not endorse discrimination. Under the guise of sanctity, do not devalue commitment. Under the guise of democracy, do not encourage this amendment.

Bette Midler

***********************

The Marriage rights battle Timeline (taken from MSNBC research):

1989
Denmark becomes the first nation to legally recognize same-sex unions, offering "the same legal effects as the contracting of marriage." Half a dozen European countries begin moving in the same direction.

1996
A court in Hawaii overrules a previous state ban on gay marriage, sparking a national debate on the subject.

1996
The U.S. House and Senate overwhelmingly pass the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), a bill denying federal recognition of same-sex marriages and giving states the right to refuse same-sex marriage licenses from other states and deny benefits associated with marriage. President Bill Clinton signs the bill. Some 38 states have since adopted similar state legislation.

2000
Vermont creates a new legal relationship status called a "civil union," allowing same-sex couples to obtain all of the rights, responsibilities and benefits available through marriage within the state of Vermont, becoming the first state to do so.

April, 2001
Netherlands: Gay and lesbian couples who are Dutch are allowed to marry and adopt with the full privileges enjoyed by heterosexual married couples. The law offers the most sweeping rights to same sex couples in the world. By 2002, Norway, Sweden, Iceland, Germany, France and Switzerland have all adopted laws allowing registration of same-sex unions, with most or all of the rights enjoyed by married heterosexual couples.

May, 2003
Rep Marilyn Musgrave, (R-Colo.) and five cosponsors introduce HJ Resolution 56, the Federal Marriage Amendment, a resolution to amend the U.S. Constitution to define marriage as a union between a man and a woman only. The Senate follows suit with its own resolution in November. The amendments state that no state or federal law "shall be construed to require that marital status or the legal incidents thereof be conferred upon unmarried couples or groups."

June 2003
The U.S. Supreme Court strikes down a Texas law prohibiting same-sex sodomy. By removing criminal implications for private consensual sexual acts, the ruling changed the legal landscape for an array issues concerning same-sex couples, including the right to marry.

June-July, 2003
The Canadian provinces of Ontario and British Columbia begin allowing same-sex couples to marry, and obtain full rights of marriage under Canadian law, following a court decision that the law on traditional marriage is unconstitutional.

November, 2003
The Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court rules that it is a violation of the state constitution to bar same-sex couples from marriage. The first legal marriages for same-sex couples are due to take place in May.

February, 2004
Massachusetts lawmakers debate amending the state constitution to define marriage as a union only between a man and woman in response to the November court ruling. The amendment fails. At least 20 other states had introduced or were expected to introduce similar state constitutional amendments.

On Feb. 12, 2004, San Francisco's newly elected Mayor Gavin Newsom allows the distribution of marriage licenses to same sex couples, prompting the state attorney general to file a constitutional challenge with the state Supreme Court. Thousands of gay and lesbian couples descend on City Hall for wedding ceremonies.

2004-03-29T11:22:00.000+08:00

It's Sunday evening, how the weekend flies! But I guess I've complained before...must not make this a habit!:)

Erhm, I did watch "One Hour Photo" but it was on the plane. Anyone who's travelled with me before on the plane will know that without the need/help of dramamine, I literally conk out upon take off. This means I probably saw about 10 mins of the movie. hehe. From what little I saw, I didn't like. But I might change my mind if I have the chance to watch it again...fully.

I've just had a takeout of some delicious Burmese food! It's one of my favorite restaurants in SF. I had samusa soup and a tea leaf salad. Deeeeeeelicious! I wish I knew how to cook them, and I've surfed the internet for recipes but to no avail.

The samusa soup is made of falafels, lentils, cabbage, onions and of course, samusas. Tea leaf salad is with imported Burmese tea leaves, tomatoes, lettice, dried shrimp, fried garlic, sesame seeds and peanuts. If anyone knows how to make these mouthwatering dishes, shoot me an email!

2004-03-29T00:17:00.000+08:00

"...if these pictures have anything important to say to future generations, it's this: I was here; I existed; I was young, I was happy, and someone cared enough about me in this world to take my picture."

I thought that was one of the best lines in the movie "One Hour Photo". I had seen the movie when it first came out but due to the muffled voices and grainy "greyscaled" picture quality of my erm, not-so-original copy of the movie, I didn't think much of it until I saw it on cable today. What a world of difference colour and sound make!

The storyline or plot may not be the most original but the great dialogue coupled with superb cinematography and set design makes it an above average film for me. The colours in the film are rich and brilliant but that only makes the chameleon-like blending of the character into the background all the more meaningful. And since we're talking about the character, we can't forget Robin Williams' magnificent portrayal of the wacko in the movie... he acts and looks nothing like well, his usual comedic self. Yes, he is that good!

A word of warning though, you might want to skip this if loud suspenseful movies are your thing. If however, you like quiet creepy movies and have an appreciation for some great film-making skills, be sure to watch this!

I know An saw this movie a while back. What did you think of it, sister?

Til next time ~Ad~

2004-03-24T02:37:00.000+08:00

Well today I watched a movie of a different kind... a 50-minute homemade video of yours truly captured by my father when I was 2, 3 and 4 years old. My brother was converting the VHS to a VCD so I was forced to watch the whole thing 3 times while he tried to perfect the editing of the itsy-bitsy details. Okay, forced might be too strong a word but the truth is, I hate watching old home movies.

The obvious physical transition from baby cute to adult blahness is one reason. But the tremendous amount of sadness I feel everytime I watch it is probably the main reason. For one, our dad is no longer with us so just hearing his voice on the tape makes me want to bawl my eyes out. And then there's our camera-shy uncle, who tried to hide everytime my dad wanted to capture him on film. He was super close to us when An and I were kids but now that he has his own family, he doesn't bother with us anymore. In fact, it's a burden trying to get him to see us nowadays. And just the fact that everyone in the video (including me!) has aged 20+ years is super depressing!

I probably won't watch the video again unless I'm feeling nostalgic or I have this sudden need to make myself feel depressed. But like my mother said, it's something to show my future grandkids so I'll probably wait until then to watch it again haha!

Til next time ~Ad~

2004-03-22T13:07:00.000+08:00

The weekend is almost over! I wish the week would pass as quickly as the weekend.
Let's see, what happened....

Well, for one, it was the anniversary of the Iraqi war. One year ago! There were several anti-war protests around the world, as well as SF. It was mostly peaceful with some minor incidents here in the city. It is believed that as many as 50,000 turned up at the protest.

To date, more than 580 have died since the war began, and more than 3300 have been wounded. And these are just American casualties....how many civilians, innocent people, women, children have died? This was terrible and is terrible, just terrible.

In Malaysia, elections were held and I've read that Barisan Nasional has had a massive 2/3 victory! This is great for Malaysian Prime Minister and Barisan chairman Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi as it shows Malaysian voters have given him the mandate for reforms.

-------------------------------------------

On a much lighter note, I met up with some friends. We had dinner in North Beach, sat among the crowd of posh looking people in our sneakers and jeans, T-shirts and moi in my track pants.

It's funny how many people seem to doll up to be seen. I've always been fascinated by it. I mean, not to say that I don't dress up myself every now and again. But definitely to go to the grocer, movies, or just plain shopping you'll find me in my cheapo jeans and sweatshirt, or worst yet, clothes that I wore the day before. Haha. I just find it all a bit silly to have to dress up to go shop for clothes. Okie, I'd probably get better service from the shop attendants but hey, not to be snooty but really, I think I earn a lot more than they do, so who are they to look me up and down just because I don't wiggle around in stilettos, short shorts/skirt and a barely-there top like some of them do, oh yes, and not forgetting a cake of make-up.

Yes, that's me standing over there in my knee-lenth shorts, flat sandals and my t-shirt probably made for two.

This reminds me of what happened on friday. It was casual friday and working where I work, I wore my tracks (yes same one I wore on Saturday, so?), t-shirt and a denim jacket I had bought last year at Nordstrom.

So my oh-so-brand conscious coworker tells me she likes my jacket, it's cute, etc...in her oh-so fake tone of voice. I swear she tells me this all the time and as you have already read, I am no fashion model, stylist queen, etc...

I think she tells me this all the time to find out what brand my clothes are, where i got them, and I can honestly tell you I am a bargain shopper. You will never find me in a gucci store, holding a louis vuitton bag, or prancing around in prada shoes ( i think they make shoes too, don't they?). I actually find it quite fun to go into a store and find a jacket that's 70% off, or that cute pair of shoes for 10 bucks. She, on the otherhand, will pay about 600 bucks for her boots, 1000 over for a jacket, 600 for a wallet, etc. So you can see where I am going here.

Anyway, I tell her it's something I got at Nordstrom ( I didn't tell her on the sale rack, HA!) about a year ago. She says, it's nice. And guess what she did? She bent over to have a look at the buttons to see the brand, and looked at the label on the sleeve. I couldn't believe it!

Of course, being the polite person I was, i didn't say anything. But I just thought that was unbelievable and I can tell you that's not the last of it. I know because with the cheapo shirts I buy to wear to work, I have several. Each time my coworker tells me she likes it, but then she's also told me she doesn't like brands like JCrew cos it's not her thing (and already in my mind that's considered quite $$ for me!), so I find it all just really, I guess the word is... hypocritical???

I say it's not about the clothes, brands, etc... but really who you are that counts.

----------------------------------------------

This past weekend I watched "Pirates of the Caribbean" and "21 grams". Both movies I loved! I have always had a crush on Johnny Depp since his 21 Jump Street Days...yummy. I like it that he's acted in oddball movies instead of the conventional hunky "safe" roles that some actors choose.

As for Sean Penn, I didn't really like him when he was younger, especially when he married Madonna??? But he's matured and has won my respect. He's definitely one of my favorite actors these days. I was glad he won Best Actor for his role in Mystic River, another excellent movie to go watch.

2004-03-20T14:43:00.000+08:00

Yeah, it's friday! I love weekends and this weekend is no different. These past few days I have been feeling extremely tired though. I hope nothing is wrong with me. :( I hope I recover over the weekend!

2004-03-18T17:08:00.000+08:00

The concert was FUCKING amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Before I tell you about the concert itself, let me tell you a bit about what I did before it started. I got there about 7p.m and the traffic was a killer! The whole traffic situation was made worse by the many food and drink stalls parked by the side of the roads and the hundreds of people walking and sitting around. My friends arrived late and I couldn't do anything except sit and wait since my friend had my ticket. I got a little panicky when at 7.30pm, my friends still hadn't arrived and my cellphone displayed the annoying "Network Busy" everytime I tried to call out. I started imagining the worst when the crowd started going in and I was still standing outside, friendless and ticketless! I thought that my friends had gone in without seeing me and since they couldn't exactly reach me on my cell, they decided to carry on without me! But silly me, I'd given my friends too much credit by actually thinking that they would arrive on time for once. Anyway, late or not, I was SO relieved when I finally spotted my friends at around 8. All was forgiven since it really wasn't their fault - traffic was at a stand-still and finding a parking space wasn't exactly the easiest of tasks. That, and they bought me beer and cigarettes :P

The two local opening acts, Pop Shuvit and OAG sucked big time, in my opinion. I personally felt embarrassed since there were tons of foreigners around and I was hoping that the guys from Incubus were too busy doing something else to listen. Both bands, especially OAG, spoke broken English while addressing the crowd and they sang out of tune. I think other local bands like Butterfingers, Love Me Butch or Damn Dirty Apes would have rocked harder and given way better performances.

Brandon Boyd, DJ Kilmore, Mike Einziger, Jose Pasillas, and latest addition, Ben Kenney finally came onstage at around 9.45pm and performed Megalomaniac, their first hit single off their latest album. It was an explosive beginning since everyone knew the lyrics and sang along without missing a beat. The band then proceeded to belt out an hour and a half of other hit songs from their previous albums with hardly a pause in between. I was delighted when they sang their third song, Warning! (if you had read my previous post, you'd know that that was my fav Incubus song). Their whole performance was just so brilliantly consistent and it was impossible not to enjoy the whole concert!

Once the concert was over though, everyone headed towards the exit at the same time so it was a push-or-get-shoved situation and I got shoved around like crazy! The smell of stale sweat and B.O. from the other 7,999 people around made it even more unbearable :P But like all the other Incubus fans who attended the concert, I would gladly go through all the pushing and inhaling of deadly erm, odours if I could see Incubus live all over again!!!!

Well all in all, it was a pretty amazing night for me. I made new friends and saw old ones, I got to see one of my favourite bands perform live and my friends bought me beer and cigarettes... friends, music, alcohol and ciggies, what more could I have asked for?

My only regrets? Not having my camera with me and being born short. It was tiring trying to look in between and above the sea of higher heads!

Til next time ~Ad~ (I Love Incubus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

2004-03-16T05:20:00.000+08:00

It's 5 something in the morning now and I'm wide awake! When I'm terribly excited about something, I find it hard to sleep so it's likely I won't be getting much zzzzzs tonight. So what's the reason for the excitement? In about 16 hours, Incubus will be performing at the Mont Kiara Equestrian Club and I'm going!!!! I could have kicked myself for missing the Linkin Park concert last year so I definitely made sure I got my ticket this time. Sigh, I'll finally get to see Brandon and his prefect abs in person!

Here is my personal tribute to Incubus... a list of my favourite Top 10 Incubus songs! Now, I love ALL songs by Incubus so having to pick a handful is not as easy as you might think. So let's start at number 10 and work our way up to my all-time favourite Incubus song:

10. Battlestar Scralatchtica
9. Pardon Me
8. Drive
7. Circles
6. Privilege
5. Stellar
4. Are You In?
3. I Miss You
2. Aqueous Transmission

And my number 1 all-time favourite Incubus song is...... (DRUMROLL)

1. Warning !!!!!!!!!

Okay, just compiling that list has gotten me all excited so here's hoping that everyone (including me) will have a marvelous time at the concert today!!!!!!!!!

Til next time ~Ad~

2004-03-15T11:24:00.000+08:00

Monday - ARGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2004-03-13T19:58:00.000+08:00

On this day, March 13th, I share the same birthday as:
1615 Innocent XII [Antonio Pignatelli] Pope (1691-1700)
1764 Charles Earl Grey (Whig), British Prime Minister (1830-34)
1779 Oliver Shaw composer
1950 William H Macy Miami FL, actor
1960 Adam Clayton Oxfordshire, rock bassist (U2-I Will Follow)
1971 Tracy Wells actress (Heather-Mr Belvedere)

Also on this day, the following events occurred...
0483 St Felix III begins his reign as Catholic Pope
1781 Sir William Herschel sees "comet" (really discovered Uranus)
1852 Uncle Sam cartoon figure made its debut in the New York Lantern weekly
1884 US adopts Standard Time
1887 Chester Greenwood of Maine patents earmuffs
1963 Indonesia & Netherlands recover diplomatic relations
1968 Beatles release "Lady Madonna" in the UK
1969 Apollo 9 returns to Earth
1973 Syria adopts constitution
1991 Exxon pays $1-billion dollars in fines & cleanup of Valdez oil spill (Prince William Sound, Alaska)
1992 570 die in a Turkish earthquake
And of course, not forgetting that I was born!!:)

Yes, today is my birthday!

I feel a bit better than yesterday, although still a little sad that someone could be so cold-hearted and unfeeling and mean! Oh well.

I started out my day by watching the movie "Sylvia." Hehe, probably not a movie I should be watching considering I was depressed. Anyway, it's about one of my favorite poets, Sylvia Plath and her marriage to Ted Hughes, another fav poet of mine. I recommend it only if you're prepared for a rather gloom and doom kind of movie, cos well, if you didn't already know, Sylvia committed suicide by sticking her head in an unlit oven (Ted was having an affair).

But back to what happened to me today...My mom called me today and as Ad had previously said in her blogs, she's definitely one of the sweetest people I know, if not the only. She serenaded me the birthday song and we talked for about an hour. I love my mom dearly. We used to argue a lot but as I have grown older, I have learned to appreciate her more and I think she's the coolest ever!

I mean everyone's going to say their mom's the best mom ever, but really, if there was an award for Best Mom in the world, OUR mom would win hands down.:) She's beenn through a WHOLE lot, sacrificed a lot of us, always puts us first, never been well off but yet she's always made sure we were never deprived of anything. I could go on writing a whole library about our mother!

It's quite dangerous to mention what I like to my mom though cos she'll make sure that I have it, within reason of course. Like prior to my departure for SF, I had just casually stated that I would like a certain book....And didn't my mom make sure that I HAVE that book! I had also said I liked a pair of sandals earlier on during my vacation at home...on the day I left, the pair of sandals was sitting on my bed waiting to be packed! Wait, there's more...well, too much more, but I think you get the idea. My mother has said before that as a child she did not always get everything but that she would make sure we would. Oh god, I better not think or write too much, I am going to start sobbing!!! By the way, don't think that I had mentioned things to my mom just to get them, it was all just casual conversation. That's why I said it's dangerous to mention anything...!!!

Anyway, it was great to hear her voice today. I told her what happened and she comforted me, which was great. I have to admit, I couldn't help but sob a cup or so of tears, cos seriously, I was hurt yesterday.

Oh well, life goes on I guess.

But today, I say fuck everyone who's going to treat me like shit. Fuck everyone who's going to say something nice to me and not mean it. Fuck everyone who's not going to appreciate me for who I am.

I have to realise and remind myself constantly that there ARE people who care about me and who would willingly give an arm or leg or even both, to make sure that I was happy. My family (which of course includes Ad!), baby buns Ro, and true true friends...I know who you are and I am sure you know too...!

Thanks to everyone's phone calls, bday cards/ecards, greetings, presents. I really appreciate them!

2004-03-13T17:05:00.001+08:00

Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year: The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again. --Menachem Mendel Schneerson

HAPPY xxth BIRTHDAY, SISTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't let your boss bring you down on your birthday ok? I hope that you'll enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!

PS I know you hate work so here's a little stupid poem to cheer you up:

I LOVE MY JOB

I love my Job, I love the Pay!
I love it more and more each day.
I love my Boss; he's the best!
I love his boss and all the rest.

I love my Office and its location
I hate to have to go on vacation.
I love my furniture, drab and gray,
And the paper that piles up every day!

I love my chair in my padded Cell!
There's nothing else I love so well.
I love to work among my Peers -
I love their leers and jeers and sneers.

I love my Computer and all its Software;
I hug it often though it doesn't care...
I love each Program and every File,
I try to understand once in a while!

I'm happy to be here, I am I am;
I'm the happiest Slave of my uncle Sam.
I love this Work: I love these Chores.
I love the Meetings with deadly Bores.

I love my Job - I'll say it again -
I even love these friendly Men -
These men who've come to visit today
In lovely white coats to take me away!

Happy Birthday once again, sister. Love you lots :-)

2004-03-13T11:37:00.000+08:00

I liked "Twin Falls Idaho" when I saw it last year. If you liked this, I recommend "Chang and Eng." The book is great although it's quite sad. And if I am not mistaken, it's loosely based on true life conjoined twins.

And about those migraines, oooooooh yeah, i totally feel your pain Ad! I wonder if it's hereditary! *wink*

Here's what I thought was kind of fun (and childish too, but who cares?:))...writing your name in hieroglyphics!

2004-03-13T11:02:00.000+08:00

Have any of you watched "Friends" or "Sex and the City" or even "Seinfeld? What have all of these got in common? Something I don't really have - a group of real, true friends. Yeah.

I don't want to sound like I am kissing my sister's ass or anything, but Ad's got to be one of my best friends, if the only. She doesn't judge me for what I am but for who I am. I have friends, but how many actually really truly care for me, have no strings attached, really want to help me and all that? How many are truly the way they are, no masks, no put ons.

I am writing this, well, because tomorrow (tomorrow for me, but it's today Malaysian time) is my birthday. I am sad, because no one really cares about it. My boss and I went out to lunch today but I felt like it was more of an obligation than something she truly wanted to do. We went out to lunch, she paid and guess what? She said, "Let's go choose your cake. I wanted it to be a surprise, but while you're here, let's go get it so I don't have to come out again." I mean, whoa.

What I hate most is, that she further went on to apologise, then she said, "Oh, I feel so bad! It's supposed to be a surprise, but I just thought since we were here...I spoiled it for you didn't I?" What did she think?

What did she want me to say??? Of course, I said it was fine, it didn't matter, I didn't want any cake. This is what she said, "Well everyone's expecting it..." Fuck it, i wanted to say. Oops, sorry, I didn't mean to write that. What I really meant to say was "Fuck it, you bitch. If you really didn't mean it, you shouldn't have done anything. I would have preferred if it you pretended you forgot."

But no. I just said it was fine. I laughed it off. But you know what? I was deeply hurt. All I got was a measly card too.

For her birthday, with my measly pay, I still took the time to get her a necklace, a picture and I even took the trouble to take the bus to get her a cake. I was even going to buy her lunch too but she had plans with her friend. She probably earns double what I earn. So go figure.

This has really put a damper on my spirits. But I am happy that at least I have a few friends who made my day. I got a gift card, and after work, I went with my coworker for some Patron shots. Yesterday, I also had dinner with my coworker and excoworkers.

You know, it's not so much that I didn't get a present from my boss. It's just that I think it was pretty lame and heartless to make me choose my cake. Okie, even that's not so bad. It's the fact that she pretended that she felt bad and she pretended that she cared about me. That's what bugs me the most.

If it's one thing that I hate, it's superficiality.

Back to what I was saying, I really wish I had a group of true friends. People I could relate to, no put ons and we could just hang out, no judgements about me, how I dress, what I look like. Friends who are always there for me. With the exception of Ad, I am still looking...so much for a Happy Birthday eh? Looks like, Ad and I have both had miserable days!

2004-03-13T02:23:00.000+08:00

I had a miserable day today. It was really hot this evening so yours truly developed a terrible migraine and couldn't do anything but nurse it with a shot of vodka... AHA! Just testing to see if you were paying attention :P Okay, lame comments aside. If anyone has ever suffered from a migraine, he or she would know that there was absolutely nothing you could do except take a pill, close your eyes and wait for the pain to subside, which, if you're unlucky like me, can take up to 5 hours. Well, I'm feeling a lot better now but I'll be going off to bed a little earlier tonight to sleep it off.

Before I go off though, I would like to thank everyone who sent An and me e-mails. We've had a few these past few days and some were lovely compliments while the others were invitations to view your blogs. You can be sure that An and I will do so when we have some free time! We're deeply honoured that you thought of us though! Please keep those e-mails coming in or post a comment at the link below each post.

Til next time ~Ad~

2004-03-12T01:39:00.000+08:00

Today has been a pretty uneventful day for me with nothing much happening. I went to the mall with my mum today to pay up some bills and also to stock up on groceries and that was pretty much the highlight of my day :) I don't mean that in a bad way or anything since I love shopping with my mum but our weekly trip to the mall has become somewhat of a ritual. We do the same things every week in the same order - we park the car as close to the entrance as possible, ride up the escalator to the stores, go to the Post Office to pay our bills, have a fruit shake at one of the delis, proceed to the supermarket to do our shopping, walk back to the other end of the mall to buy dinner, ride the escalator down to the carpark and then drive home. Sounds like a quick shopping trip right? Wrong. It's a bit of a mystery but somehow my mother and I shop for an average of 4 hours at the mall every week! And heaven forbid, if we have a little more stuff to buy, 8 hours would fly by before making our way home :P

I really don't think it's the shopping I like so much though... sure, the occasional new pair of shoes or bag doesn't hurt but it's more of spending quality time with my mother. I would hate for this to come out like a Mothers' Day contest slogan but my mum is just the cutest, funniest and coolest person on the face of this earth and I'm sure An would agree. She laughs a lot, makes stupid jokes like An and I do and even swears on occasion :P How could you not want to spend 4 or 8 hours at a shopping mall with someone like that? So weekly ritual or not, I wouldn't trade it for anything else in the world!

Well, I'm in the mood for a movie now so I'm off to watch Twin Falls Idaho. Tell you more about the movie tomorrow!

Til next time ~Ad~

2004-03-11T10:34:00.000+08:00

I admit I was one of those who laughed when William Hung auditioned on American Idol. But I thought there were several others who were as laughable. They sang out of tune, stripped, dressed funny, had weird routines, etc...

But I stopped laughing the minute William was all over the airwaves, talk shows, etc. He was and is everywhere ( he's even scheduled to appear on Jay Leno on April 8th). I stopped laughing because I actually find it a little sad and somewhat disconcerting. I mean single out a Chinese accented guy with buck teeth, wears flowery short-sleeved shirts, and you've got yourself...well, I don't know what you've got there....What I do know, is that it probably wouldn't have been so funny if William had a six-pack, looked like Brad Pitt or just had a plain ol' American accent, and couldn't sing.

You're right Ad, when you say he's probably having the last laugh. After all, how many American Idol rejects get a record deal, or his extended 15 minutes of fame? And we all know he's not dumb either, how many of us can get into an engineering program at UC Berkeley!

But still, why do we have to single those out who are different, is it really entertainment? Has anyone seen "The Littlest Groom"?

All this just reminds me of traveling sideshows, except it's now on tv.

Call me a fuddy dud, but I just don't think it's funny or entertaining. As someone said, people are laughing AT William, not WITH him.

Sad, sad, sad.

2004-03-11T03:20:00.000+08:00

"She bangs... she bangs! Oh baby!...."

That may sound like something right out of a cheesy porno flick but no, that's not what I'm here to talk about. If like me, you've been glued to Astro's Channel 70 (Malaysian cable TV) every Tuesday and Thursday at 8pm, you would know that that was the song American Idol reject, William Hung sang at the auditions. Sure I laughed at his-cute-yet-oh-so-painful rendition of Ricky Martin's hit song, as did the millions of viewers worldwide... but guess who's having the last laugh now? Get ready world, for the Asian "Licky Martin" with the toothy grin and his trusty yellow backpack has an album coming out on April the 6th! That's 15 more "She Bangs" for ya. :P I honestly wonder how much sales his album will rack up though... it certainly would be interesting if it went double or triple platinum, wouldn't it? I mean, a triple platinum album by somebody who can sing is nothing these days but a platinum album by somebody who CAN'T sing? Now that I would like to see. In all honesty though, I think that this will probably be his first and last album (although anything is possible these days - Britney Spears is proof) so his 15 minutes of fame could be over even before you say American Idol 4. But that's probably 15 minutes more than you or I will ever have :P So would I go out and buy this album? Well, let's just say that anyone who knows me, knows I absolutely love music but erm, I think I'll pass on this one. :P

I have to agree with An on the movie Pieces Of April. I saw it a few weeks ago and I loved it, which is not an easy thing to say when you don't like the lead actress very much! Katie Holmes= Dawson's Creek= *CRINGE FACTOR*. I liked Patricia Clarkson in this movie though and I think she's a fantastic actress! If you liked her performance in Pieces of April as much as I did, you should see her other movie, The Station Agent. I saw this with An a few months back and I think it's safe to say we both loved it! I won't say much about the movie since I wouldn't want to spoil it for those who haven't seen it yet but try to watch both movies if you can!

Til next time ~Ad~

2004-03-10T12:26:00.000+08:00

Pieces of April
Starring: Katie Holmes, Patricia Clarkson, Derek Luke, Oliver Platt, Sean Hayes
Director: Peter Hedges

April's family is coming to her apartment in New York's Lower East Side for a Thanksgiving dinner, what may be her mother's last. The film revolves around April as she tries to cook dinner, but of course she runs out of luck...her oven doesn't work! So she runs around her apartment building seeking the help of her neighbours.

Sean Hayes, one of my favorite actors and of "Will and Grace" fame, plays a creepy neighbour who helps her, or so she thinks...!

I thought this was a wonderful movie, tugs at the heart strings. Derek Luke, who plays Bobby, April's boyfriend is a total cutie!

Apparently, Director Peter Hedges had heard about a group of friends who were in the same predicament as April and her turkey. But he didn't pursue his writing, only picking it up again when he learned his mother had cancer. She encouraged him, but unfortunately, 15 months later, she died. Although Peter said this movie was not about his mother, he did say that it was a tribute to her. Touching.

This movie is great and moving, it makes me think about the relationships I have with people. I loved the diversity at the end of the movie, the feeling of family not just among family members, but with people around you.

I am thankful I didn't watch this during Thanksgiving. Although we don't celebrate it in Malaysia, it sure sucks to be reminded of not having family and loved ones around the holidays.

I highly recommend this movie!

2004-03-09T12:03:00.000+08:00

The weather today was gorgeous! Temperatures in the 80's and just this time last week, I was carrying my umbrella, winds were blowing, etc...What a difference!

Went to lunch at a Burmese restaurant, one of my favorites. Food was great and somehow it always tastes better when you know someone else is going to pay. HA! We had tea leaf salad, noodle salad, country chicken, coconut rice and samosas. Yummy, am salivating just writing about it...

I love food. I don't eat any weird stuff like monkey's brains or squirrels or what not, but then what IS deemed as weird. I had a conversation with a friend of mine the other day and she grew up with a dad who hunted, skinned and cooked rabbits, squirrels, etc...What i thought was/is weird, she thought of as normal.

Back to what I was saying. I love food. I just love trying all sorts of different cuisines. This past Sunday, i had crepes and last Wednesday, Cambodian food. Told ya, I love food didn't I?:)

2004-03-08T07:40:00.000+08:00

GUILTY! As many of you already know, Martha Stewart (not MJ) is guilty of the following: conspiracy, obstruction of justice and two counts of making false statements to federal investigators.

Each charge carries a maximum charge of five years of jail time, which means homemaker Martha could be put in jail for as many as 20 years!

Today, I heard on the news that her syndicated "Martha Stewart Living" will be pulled from CBS's New York affiliate, and it is likely that other stations will follow suit. Poor Martha!

I have to admit, I have a soft spot for this self-made woman. Coming from a large middle-classed family, she literally built her own empire and became rich and successful through her intelligence and hard work. I think THAT is amazing.

Here's my tribute to Martha, a recipe I watched her cook on the Food Network station last week. I tried it too, pretty good...!

Braised Fennel with Chestnuts and Shallots
(c)2003 Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Recipe Summary
Prep Time: 10 minutes Cook Time: 40 minutes
Yield: 6 to 8 servings

3 tablespoons unsalted butter
12 small shallots, peeled stem ends left intact
8 ounces chestnuts, peeled (available at specialty stores)
2 tablespoons sugar
3 large fennel bulbs (about 5 pounds), trimmed and cut lengthwise into sixths, fronds reserved for garnish
2 cups chicken stock, preferably homemade
1 1/2 teaspoons coarse salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground pepper

In a large straight-sided skillet, melt butter over medium-high heat. Add shallots and chestnuts. Sprinkle with sugar and cook, stirring until beginning to brown, and the sugar caramelizes in bottom of pan, 3 to 5 minutes.

Add fennel and stock. Bring stock to a boil scraping up any browned bits from the bottom of pan. Add salt and pepper. Reduce to simmer, cover, and cook until fennel is tender when pierced with the tip of a knife, 20 to 30 minutes. Uncover and return to a boil. Cook until liquid is reduced and syrupy, about 5 minutes.

2004-03-08T00:38:00.000+08:00

Sometime in the year 2001, my sister An and I had a dream - we wanted to create and write in our very own online magazine. It was to have been one with a concept so unique, it would have attracted millions of readers worldwide and put millions of dollars into our pockets. Well, three years down the road, the dream remains just that, which goes to show just how focused, motivated and ambitious the two of us are :) I would like to think, however, that this blog accomplishes at least half of what we set out to do, and that is to write together.

I would really love to take all the credit for the design and layout of our blog but since the template was freely given by Blogger and An gave me lots of good suggestions and ideas, I didn't really have to do much! (I think in time, you'll learn that An is the more creative one so she does most of the work really). Well, regardless of who did what, I really am proud of our blog and I think it looks pretty good for our first attempt at bloggin'!

I guess I don't have to tell you what our blog is about since An did such a wonderful job in the description and in her post above. I do have this to say though, I look forward to disagreeing with you, An! :)

Please feel free to send us an e-mail or have a chat with us in the tagboard. You can even submit comments in the link provided below each entry. We look forward to hearing from you!

Let the blogging begin!!!

2004-03-07T13:13:00.000+08:00

After more than two hours of brainstorming, tossing out names like "Sisterlicious" and "A Malaysian Blog", we've finally got our blog up and running....yeah!

I figured one of us had to be the first to officially post something and break the champagne bottle, as our blog begins its maiden voyage into many-a-reader's favorites list!

As our description says, we're two sisters who agree and disagree...we just thought we'd take our sibling rivalry online! So, check in with us regularly to see if we're hugging each other lovingly or scratching the other's eyeballs out...

So...Welcome and Selamat Datang!

PS: Thanks Ad, for being the brains behind the layout of this blog!!! Love ya! And tag, you're it!